Jourdan Mathews has a secret, and she knows she needs to take this one to the grave.
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Her life was never complicated: a college student with a close family, good friends, and a plan for her future as a doctor. Had that night had never happened...
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the present // the past
The way I've been feeling about Ryder Harris recently confuses the hell out of me. Especially after we kissed and last night in the sauna, I can't deny the desire that floods my body every time I think about him. If we hadn't been interrupted again by Wyatt this time, I would have let him do so much more than kiss me.
There had been an ache between my legs ever since we kissed, one that I tried to satisfy myself with both my hands and my vibrator, but neither one fulfilled me. And when I admitted to touching myself while I thought about him to his face, I was very close to asking him to touch me instead.
Even now, as I sit at my vanity, adding the finishing touches to my eyeliner, I feel turned on just thinking about how hot it had been in that sauna. And not just because of the hot coals which had been warming the space.
I know I'm going to see Ryder tonight. And what's more, I know I'm looking forward to it.
We'd actually been texting a little bit, something of a novelty because usually we coordinated meeting with the boys through Justin. But instead, he texted me earlier today, asking if myself and the other ladies, still wanted to go out tonight. Then I'd checked with Andee and Bex, both of whom had more than a few questions when I mentioned Ryder was asking me if we were going to be joining him and our other guys friends. I managed to dodge the questions, but I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid them forever.
Our plan right now is to pregame with Tillie, Paige, and Savannah at our apartment before we Uber to the bars on Pearl Street where we'd be meeting the guys. Then, once we were all in person together, I had no idea what might happen. Partially because I seem to lose control of myself whenever I'm around Ryder these days.
It's a bit annoying really. Especially because after we first met, I swore to myself that of all the guys on CU's campus, I would never sleep with him. And now, I'm sitting here considering how good it might feel to finally give into him.
The memory of the first night we met occurs to me then, it was three days into our freshmen year, and Justin asked to come see his dorm finally. So, after grabbing dinner in the dining hall, we'd headed to Farrand Hall.
Andee and I can tell this is an all boys floor the second we step into the hallway from the stairwell where some kid who'd been on his way out of the hall had let us in.
"Damn," Andee says, wrinkling her nose. "It's only been a couple days but already I know it's just dudes living up here."
I nod, agreeing with her. Justin's dorm is on the third floor of Farrand hall, it's brightly lit with stark white walls and bulletin boards with different colorful flyers hung there, advertising the variety of events happening this week for Welcome Week before classes start on Monday. It smells distinctly of weed, Axe body spray, and musty laundry.
