Jourdan Mathews has a secret, and she knows she needs to take this one to the grave.
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Her life was never complicated: a college student with a close family, good friends, and a plan for her future as a doctor. Had that night had never happened...
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I can tell Ryder is nervous, even though Dr. Branson had reassured him it's a standard procedure and that there isn't much to worry about. I would be lying if I said I wasn't also nervous, I mean, what if he has a bad reaction to the anesthesia? What if something goes wrong and his shoulder doesn't heal correctly? But all these 'what if' questions weren't helpful, not when I knew my job was to keep him optimistic.
Rory and Wyatt went to get food about half an hour ago, telling me they'd bring me back a Caesar salad from Pasta Jay's. So now it's just Ryder and I, sitting in the hospital bed while we watch a re-run of the first season of Sex and the City that's currently playing on one of the only good channels the tv in this room has.
"I don't get the hype around Carrie." Ryder muses, his free hand running up and down my side while he keeps me tucked against his chest. I giggle, wrapping myself closer to him as I stretch my legs out next to his.
"That's good," I tell him, tilting my head up to look at him. "If you were a fan of Carrie, I don't think we could be together."
"Oh really?" he asks, and I nod.
"Yeah, Andee and I have always thought her character was lowkey, kind-of toxic," I explain. "So, I'm glad I didn't even have to tell you that, you figured it out on your own."
"I mean, it's like she has main character syndrome," Ryder says, and we both laugh. "My favorite is Samantha, she's hot and smart, and owns her shit. One hundred percent would smash for sure."
"Ryder Harris," I say, sitting up and looking him in the eye. "You are a very perceptive man. She is the best character."
"She reminds me of you." He offers and I shake my head, I could never be Samantha, no one can—there is only one Samantha Jones, and she will always be an icon. But still, I know he means well.
"I don't know if that's a compliment I deserve." I giggle and he just grins, pulling me towards him as he leans down. I follow his lead, kissing him gently before snuggling against his side again. The next few moments pass by, watching Miranda, Carrie, Charlotte, and Samantha debate the struggles of being single women who had married friends. I can hear Ryder's heart beating fast beneath my ear, telling me he's having trouble staying distracted when he knows the nurses will be returning soon to take him to the OR.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me," he mutters suddenly, causing me to sit up slightly and turn towards him. "I just—I know what you went through with Miles and having to take care of him. And I don't want that to be how things are between us."
"What do you mean?" I ask, raising an eyebrow and he glances away from me, expression worried.
"It's just, I don't know how supportive I'm going to be right now," he mumbles. "I mean, I'm trying not to think the worst, but I don't want you tied down again to something you don't want to be in."
