Jourdan Mathews has a secret, and she knows she needs to take this one to the grave.
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Her life was never complicated: a college student with a close family, good friends, and a plan for her future as a doctor. Had that night had never happened...
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I haven't been able to stop thinking about what Ryder said earlier today.
That if I did want to call him, just to talk, that'd be fine too.
I don't know why, but that combined with agreeing to go out with Emerson tomorrow and that horrible dinner with my mother and Susan, have me completed wound up again when I get home from class. I spent the next couple hours after that just lying on my bed, trying to watch TV and do a little homework to no avail.
As if he could sense my need to escape, Noah had called around 9 pm, inviting me to a little party he was having tonight at his apartment in North Boulder. In honor of Tuesday, he'd explained, we'd be drinking tequila.
So, even though it's a Tuesday night, here I am walking up a flight of stairs, following the sounds of booming bass music before I push my way into Noah's dingy apartment. It's flooded with iridescent, purple LED lighting, and I glance around me as I enter, not recognizing anyone immediately. I spot a counter in the small kitchen just ahead of me with bottles of cheap liquor stacked together.
I move towards them, reaching for the first bottle of vodka I can get my hands on and tipping it back into my mouth unceremoniously. I drink until I start to feel numb, pausing in between gulps to stop myself from throwing it all up. No one seems to see me here, a blessing tonight because I'm not interested in another run-in like I'd had in the Laughing Goat last week.
"Jourdan Mathews." I hear a voice behind me and spin around, grinning when I see Noah standing there, his own expressions slightly vacant, though pleased when he sees me.
"Noah." I say slowly, stepping forward as he reaches for me, pulling me into a sloppy hug.
"You look fucking beautiful," He murmurs in my ear. "As usual."
"Thank you." I respond, pulling back slightly, though still keeping my arms slung around his shoulders for support.
"I've got a present for you." He grins, reaching between us into his jeans pocket to pull out a small, round pill.
"What is it?" I ask, my vision already starting to blur slightly as the alcohol sets in.
"Some kind-of cross between ecstasy. . . and something else." He says, his dazed, pleasant expression now making more sense. I bite my lip, eyeing the pill and knowing deep down I shouldn't. No matter how badly I might want to escape right now, I couldn't bring myself to fall back into old patterns. Not when I'd been doing better.
True, I'd been reckless in the past. But the recent memories of Miles clouding my mind were more then enough reminder that I couldn't afford to keep letting myself slip up this way.
"I've already been drinking." I say, and he nods, shrugging as he places the pill back into his pocket.
"Come hang out with me." He gestures, keeping one arm wrapped around my waist as he pulls me farther into the apartment. We weave between people into the adjacent living room and suddenly I feel a hand on my other shoulder.
