The Story I Never Told Anyone

Chapter 5 the lost door in my mind

My head hurts whenever I think, remember.

I imagine this door in my mind . The one when Alice in Wonderland comes through. She wonders.

I wonder.

In my mind, there's a door.

Whenever I come to touch it or try to unlock it, it just makes my brain hurt.

Thinking, remembering.

no.

Because the fact I say "thinking," I don't think about my thinking.

I don't know how to think.

Right now, you may be thinking

. I'm not. I don't know how to think.

It's quiet.

I got a shock when I tried to open the door.

The shocks are long, painful, hurtful.

In the past, when I was little, I think I would feel this when I over think.

When I was little, I knew how to think.

I could remember everything.

Every piece of information, every detail.

But now I can not think. I can not remember.

I can not think. I used to like reading Alice in wonderland.

But then I became my own Alice in wonderland.

I didn't think Alice had to deal with this mess.

I wonder if Alice had the same learning disability as mine.

Is wondering bad thing.

Does it get you anywhere?

Would I become the next alice?

No, I am going to be the next me with the mindset of alice.

Wonder if there's anyone like me out there.

Did she feel the things that I feel when I start to think?

Does she have a non-stop headache? Is she real? Is she still alive?

Can I meet her? That's the door in my mind.