The Story I Never Told Anyone

Chapter 19 running away

I'm running out of reasons why I should forget you.

I tend to run away from things that are too hard.

My toxic friends always talk about themselves.

And when I need to talk about something they shut me off.

Then go back to what they were saying.

I snapped at one and told her I wasn't fine.

She said I'm sorry she didn't give two shits.

If we were on facetime.

She would be laughing like my feelings are some sick joke.

This is why I don't tell people how I feel.

They prove to me right that I can't trust them.

I'm slowly losing my smile.

I lost myself again.

That's the most crappy thing ever.

If only I knew that.

I'm the nicest person ever.

I give a shit about people.

I put the people first and then me.

Sometimes it is hard to even reality.

Oh god.

I just wanna cry.

But I can't because no one will hear.

You don';t know what real pain is until you're laying in bed holding your chest or heart.

And you're covering your mouth.

And you're sobbing.

It's like a panic attack.

You don't get to say that I didn't give two shits about you.

Alex 100 fucks about you.

You were my best friend.

I can't wipe the memories of the laughs and the fun we had.

You can't.

You don't get to say I left you when I didn't.

You left because you couldn't own up to your mistakes.

I didn't do anything but be there.

Thin and thick I was and you don't get to say I wasn't.

I hope you get karma for making me hurt this bad.

You made my worst dreams come true.

Let's have a toast to the worst best friend ever.

This sucks.

It sucks so bad.

Because i can't even talk to the group chat about it.

Because they want to forget about you.

And I'm mad at you alex.

I want to forget about you.

I want to turn the page from the book and move on.

Like nothing happened.

Everything you did sucked it sucked so bad I could slap my hand through the wall.

And every time I remember the times we were going crazy without our ice cream.

I fucking miss you and i don't want to.