𝖿𝖺𝗋 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 - 𝖼.𝗒

♥︎♡ ! >﹏< 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝟭𝟭 !

a few hours pass but it feels like minutes. at this point, i've lost count of how many ciders i've had. we've been passing around the vodka too, so i've had a few shots of that straight from the bottle. it's dark, our only light source being the flickering fire, giving off this exciting sort of energy. people are dancing away, too far gone to care how stupid they look. i see why yeonjun said to bring something i didn't mind getting muddy. the ground has gone soft under our feet, splatting mud up our legs every now and then. we dance around laughing, a mass of bodies jumping up and down with arms waving in the air. daeun and i were holding hands as we danced until landon soon me around, placing his hands on my hips. he's not making a move, we've both just become very close with each other - there's no flirting, all fun. i spot kendall and some guy kissing by the fire, and daeun starts clapping and whooping which makes me giggle.

then i spot another figure near the fire, standing with taehyun and liv. soobin, beomgyu, kai and elena are all mixed in with the dancing crowd leaving just those three by the fire. i'm guessing taehyun and liv mist be driving home tonight too, so are laying off the drinking a bit. the three of them stand, taking with each other, moving in time with the music and laughing.

but then i realise that yeonjun is looking at me. he's talking with his friends, yet his eyes wonder me up and down, which makes me excited. i smile at him when he spots me, and he smiles back at me, but his eyes still linger on me, giving me butterflies. every time i glance his way from our chaotic dancing, he's looking at me.

so i wave him over with my hand. i see a smirk play at his lips and a dimple forms on his left cheeks, and wow, that was a godly sort of sight. i know he'll be heading over to come dance soon now that i've gestured for him to join us. i turn back around, facing landon and daeun as we dance away.

when i feel yeonjun's hand gently slip around my waist from behind as we dance, i get all kinds of tingly sensations. he twists me around to face him and i throw my arm over his shoulder.

he's a good dancer. he's not going all out, but he's not being awkward or shying away either. we're both doing body rolls in time with the music and every now and then i feel his body up against mine. 

he's a lot taller than me. when liv bumped into us, pushing us close together, his chin was lined up with my nose. he caught me quickly, and i felt his lips brush lightly against my eyelashes. we've never been this close before. we laugh it odd as he helps me balance on my own two feet.

his lips are in my eyeline, so i have the perfect view of his flirty smirk. i watch his face until my eyes land on his. they're dangerously hypnotic, and i watch them glint and sparkle in the fire light. feeling his body so close to mine, i became sort of excited, almost longing for him to get closer. he spins me around playfully, and tugs me back in close. closer than before. our bodies are practically right up against each other. i feel his hand travel down my back and around my waist, and everything else is blocked out. all i see is him. all i feel is him. his hand makes its way back up my body, going around the back of my neck. my eyes watch his lips as he moistens them with his tongue. he leans down to me slightly, and i know what's about to happen. i want it to happen. i want him to kiss me. inches apart. centimetres apart. millimetres apart.

then a body knocks into us, waking us from what was about to happen. what the fuck is going on? he's my exchange partner. we shouldn't be getting all intimate like that, it's inappropriate. as much as i really wanted him to kiss me, it's wrong. it's weird. i can see his expression changes as he flashed back to reality. i realise that both of us got kind of scared by that. that was way too close. so he walks away, to stop us from going any further. i'm glad he did that.

it doesn't take long for another guy to take his place. beomgyu. we exchange smiles as we dance next to each other. he catches my hand and spins me around, making me laugh. with his hands around my waist and mine over his shoulder, we dance playfully together. nothing flirty. i don't think. after a while longer of dancing passes, he leans into my ear and says loudly, "you want a drink?" over the music.

"sure." i shout back. don't know why. probably have had way too much already.

he leads me away from the crowd, and behind the log cabin. we can still hear the music, but it's sort of blocked out by the walls. it also blocks out the light from the fire, making the stars look so much clearer. once we're sat down, alone, in the dark, i notice the slight ringing in my head, so i decide i'm not going to drink any more. he takes a sip from the vodka bottle which is almost empty.

"you want the last bit?" he asks me.

"no, i'm good." i say.

he swirls it around in the bottle, considering just finishing it himself.

"i think you've had enough, don't you?" i laugh slightly.

"what, is that a challenge?" he says playfully.

"no, it really wasn't." i laugh.

"you're accent is so adorable." he says to me, out of nowhere.

i smile slightly. "thanks." i say with a slight chuckle.

"and you're really pretty." he adds. "anyone ever told you that?"

that makes me smile again. "beomgyu, how about you put the vodka down now." i suggest.

"yeah." he laughs in defeat. "that's a good idea."

he drops the bottle onto the grass and leans into me, feeling dixxi, which makes me chuckle slightly. he's got no sense of spatial awareness at this point, but i don't mind. his head rests against my shoulder and we're silent for a while. i just stare out across the empty field, and look up to the sky. it's a fairly starry night. there are more stars back home in england though. there's less air pollution in the country side so we have a clear view of the most gorgeous stars. i'm guessing this field is probably the closest i'm going to feel to home.

then i start to feel something. beomgyu's lips against my neck. for a second i honestly think nothing of it. i'm a bit too dazed to fully be aware of what he's doing. it takes me a second to realise. 

"hey, what are you doing?" i lean back slightly, making him sit up from my shoulder.

"what?" he says. "come on, no one can see us." he tells me before he leans in and kisses me.

i feel his lips against mine and quickly turn my head to the side to break the contact. "beomgyu-" i start saying. but with my head turned to the side, he just starts kissing down my neck. i try to lean away from him. "beomgyu, stop-" i say, but not too loudly as i don't want to cause a scene. he's just drunk, that's all it is. plus, no one can hear and see me from here anyway. "i said stop, beomgyu." i say, leaning as far back as i can.

he just carries on leaning over me until he's practically pinning me down. then i felt trapped, the weight of his body over mine starting to make me panic. then his hands start to travel my body, creeping towards places they shouldn't be.

"get off me!" i scream.

"shhh, it's okay." he whispers into my ear as he slowly starts to tug at my clothes.

"beomgyu! stop!" i scream, but i can't move.

his lips connect with mine, but i turn my head to the side again. i feel my heart beating fast and my breath shake and his lips pressed harshly to my neck. i feel his hand against my skin, going under my clothes.

that's when i scream.