Kim Taehyung one shots

Longing PART 2

Taehyung POV

I wake up int he morning. I look at the clock. It's 7:30 am. My gaze falls on the empty side of the bed. I feel heaviness in my heart for a moment. I pull her pillow into my embrace. It has her scent. I close my eyes. Her smell.. I again feel pressing heaviness on my heart. How many nights do we have to endure apart from each other? I need to do this. I need to make this work. I'll talk to her today about what I have in mind. I can only hope that she gets where I'm coming from and doesn't take it personally.
I turn around and look at my handphone.
"Good morning. How was your night?" I text her.
She almost instantly replies, "Morning. Pretty uneventful. Though I didn't get any sleep. How are you?"
"As usual. When will you get free?"
"I should be able to get free in half an hour. Do you have time for our breakfast date?"
"Of course. I promised. Tell me where you wanna meet."
"Let's keep it at home only? I'm kind of tired."
"Okay." It's better. We'll be able to discuss more freely.
I keep my phone aside and get up to freshen up.

I was in the living room when Seri returns from hospital. She's looking very ethreal and tired at the same time, if that's possible. She takes off her shoes and drops her handbag on the couch before just falling down on me.
It makes me chuckle. She has put whole of her weight on me, which is not at all much to be honest.
I laugh and pull her into a proper hug.
She buries her face into my neck. I hug her tightly.
"Tired?"
"Tired, lazy. I've lost the capability to differentiate between the two."
I laugh at her words.
She tightens her arms around me. "Ahhh.."
I turn us around and keep her down in the couch. I break out of our hug. Our housekeeper brings juice and water for her. Seri thanks her and gulps down water in a single go. She definitely is tired.
"Breakfast is ready, whenever you wanna have it." I tell her.
"Yeah." She gets up from the couch, opens her hair from ponytail and starts walking towards bedroom. My mind zones out for a moment. Her hair always stop me in my tracks. They always fall perfectly, cascading down her back like a waterfall. And she doesn't even do something special for her hair. It seems unreal to me most of the times and I live with her. Imagine what other people must think.
"Just give me some time. I'm feeling icky. It is so hot out there. I'll take a shower first. But in how much time do you have to leave for work?" She looks back at me.
"At around 10:30. I have to reach there by 11."
"Oh.. okay. Won't that be late?"
I wave my hand dismissively. "Nah. I told everyone yesterday only that I'll come around 11. Everyone knows."
"How are you though? These last few days, mentally and physically? I just realised that I haven't asked you this question lately." She asks me.
"I'm okay, I guess. Just tired. Both physically and mentally, maybe. But it's not overwhelming enough to be a problem. So, yeah. I guess I'm fine."
She nods her head at my response.
"Everything is getting too much, no? All the time you're doing something or the other. I really haven't seen you free when you are not supposed to be doing anything."
I shrug my shoulders at her statement. That is exactly what I have to discuss with her today. I'll get into it after breakfast only.
She turns towards me and gives me an amused expression. I look at her quizically.
She scrunches her nose while smiling, licking her lips, "Have you had shower yet?"
I shake my head.
"Join me?" She whispers very lightly and looks at me from under her eyelashes.
A smile appears on my lips on hearing those unexpected words. I cannot resist her. I purse my lips before nodding my head slightly. Then my eyes focus on my surroundings and I realise that we are already standing in front of the shower. I had unknowingly followed her into the washroom while talking.
She chuckles on seeing the realisation hit me. I look at the ground blushing, being caught so off guard. She lets out a laugh and pulls me into the shower. "Come on."

"About that thing yesterday.. i told you we'll talk about it later."
She nods her head acknowledging that she remembers. We are having breakfast now. I watch as she finishes her bowl.
"You know members have already been talking about taking a break from the group activities, right?"
"Yeah. You told me about it. Everyone wasn't exactly on board when you told me though. It was just a thought."
It started as one of things that we could do first regarding the upcoming military enlistment, burn out and stuff but considering the age differences, this has turned out to be the only logical decision in the last few discussions in the company.
"Yeah. But things have been kind of solidifying in that direction in last few days. That seems to be the only logical decision considering the scenario."
She looks at me concerned. "Are you on board with this decision?"
"Yeah. I am good with it. It'll be different for a while, but it's okay, right? I will still be working on my music, the mixtape that I want to release, and it's not like we won't see each other or we are disbanding or anything. It's just a phase to accomodate all the future stuff. In no time we'll be back together doing things that we want again. It is just an opportunity to do something else."
I just hope this news will be well received. Our intentions behind this are genuine, so I genuinely hope that people understand where we are coming from.
She takes my hand in hers. "Correct. This is another opportunity to grasp. Things have worked out till now, this will also work out. Don't worry."
"What I wanted to talk about was "us". I was thinking, that since my schedule would no longer be needed to be coordinated with others, why don't we focus on your private practice too? I mean, isn't it a good time to start thinking in that direction. I'll be no longer the limiting factor in that. Or atleast I have enough space now to try to not be the limiting factor."
She immediately starts shaking her head upon hearing my words.
"I know. I know. You are going to say that it's not true. I'm not holding you back and blah blah blah. But still.. hear me out, okay?" I implore her.
She nods her head releasing a sigh. "Okay."
"The approximate timeline for my military enlistment will be around 2-3 years from now. And I really don't want to leave you here alone. Although it will just be 18 months but still. For my peace of mind, I wanted someone to be there for you physically also. So, this thought came into my mind that why don't we shift to Daegu near my parents' house."
I can sense panic rising in her mind. So i quickly add, "I'm not saying we should do this immediately. I know you still have to complete your senior residency. You need to be confident before you can start your own practice. I'm just discussing if maybe we should think in this direction."
She looks down thinking.
"What about your work? Even if you will be doing some individual projects, still at the end of the day, it is all based in Seoul only. Wouldn't it be easier for you to stay here?" She argues.
I had thought about it. It is a potential issue. And I knew she would again put my situation ahead of hers.
"I talked to Jimin about it. We were thinking and we both felt that this is very doable. Me being based in Daegu but still working in Seoul. Most of the work can be done online and for some things, I can always travel to Seoul. It's not that far away. I mean, also, I am at that stage where I can ask other people to accomodate a little for me."
"I don't know. I'm not convinced. You still go to company everyday. How can that be substituted?"
"That's what I'm telling you. Our schedules are going to change drastically after this. We are doing this for the sole purpose of making more time and to cut down on things."
"I still feel it'll be too much for you."
"Please.. for once put yourself first instead of me. Think about what I've suggested about your own practice. Think about it and tell me if it is doable. I'll more clearly figure out how I will manage my own work and will tell you. Okay?"
She looks at me poutingly, still not convinced. I hold her hands in mine.
"Please.. do it for me. Think about a work plan with the goal of starting a practice in Daegu and work it out on your end. And I'll do the same for myself. Yeah?"
She lets out a very little hmm in response.
"And I promise that I won't take any decision unless we both are completely convinced."
She looks more hopeful after hearing me say this.
"Okay." She nods her head. "I'll think about it."
I ruffle her hair. "Good. Thank you. And I'm seriously sorry that I've been holding you back because of my work life till now. I really want to make it better for you, moving forward.
"Yaah.. shut up, please. Stop saying that again and again. That's not the case at all. I would have done everything exactly the same I have done till now, regardless of your work. It's not like I am not diligent about my work. I care about things that I do and how I do them. It's kind of upsetting that you'd say that I can so easily put my work at backfoot just because I don't want to burden you. I have some responsibility towards my professional life also. And even if I do put my work on hold, it'll be because it will be my decision. It's not your work that is influencing me rather it's my decision to let your work into consideration while making choices."
She tilts her head, irritated by my words. I purse my lips. Maybe I should have kept that sentence to myself. She looks away from me.

I pick up dishes from the table to put them back into the kitchen but our housekeeper takes them from my hands and tells me to leave it to her.
Seri goes towards the bedroom without looking at me. I should apologize. Otherwise she might think that I'm doing this entirely out of guilt. I follow her. She is standing with her arms crossed, looking out the window. I close the door to the bedroom.

I turn her around to face me.
"You're right. I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say that I'm the one holding you back. It was your decision before and it will be your decision in the future also. I'm just trying to be helpful the only way I know how. But you would agree that it is my decision when it comes to my work life, if i decide to put your interests first, right? So, all I'm asking you is to give this scenario a chance too. Please respect my decision also. Don't rule it out by calling it guilt or whatever. Yeah?"
She looks at me with misty eyes. She finally understood where I am coming from.
She gives me a genuine affirmation this time that she'll think about it seriously. I hug her tightly.
"That's better. And don't cry. I know I make you fall in love with me everyday more and more." I smirk.
She laughs at my statement. "I can't even deny because it's true." She replies.
I rub her back assuringly. "Smile." I urge her.

I look at the time. It's almost 10:30. I break our hug. "Okay. Too much heavy discussion for one day. Let's stop here. I have to leave for studio now. You should sleep now, okay?"
She nods. "Yeah. Hmm." A yawn escapes her lips. She tries to hold it in but fails.
"Come on. Sleep."
She sits down on the bed and watches me get dressed.
"When will you be back tonight?" I hear longingness in her voice.
"I don't know yet. Once I'll reach there, then I'll know. I'll call you."
"Hmm." She yawns once more. Her eyes are already droopy. She lies down on the bed but is still looking at me.
Once I'm done getting dressed, i walk over to her. She looks up at me. I bend down and put my hands on either side of her head. I place a soft kiss on her lips.
"I love you." I look into her eyes. They are shining. She is searching my eyes for something. I smile at her reassuringly. Suddenly a tear falls out of corner of her eyes. My eyes widen. "What happened?" She yawns once more and wipes it away, shaking her head. "Nothing. I too love you so much."
I caress her cheek with one hand. "I'll be back soon. Take some rest." She nods while her eyes are still closed.
I press one last kiss against her cheek and turn around to leave.
We'll figure this out. We'll be okay. I know.