Harry Styles Mini Me

Ch.25: Lennon's first birthday Bash

(Currently listening to Flicker bc I think this chapter will be emotional)

365 days ago I became a mom.

I met my son.

He joined us in this big crazy world and my heart broke open the moment I laid eyes on him and my brain realized this little babe wriggling on my chest came from me and Harry. He was actually ours.

I'm sitting in the living room on the night before Lennons actual birthday after I've put him to bed (because we're having the big party the weekend after his birthday so that everyone we want there can come) cleaning up his toys and I of course get nostalgic. It's almost like every toy of his I touch it transports me back to the days where he couldn't walk, talk, to the days where he was dependent on me on everything. Now he's such an independent little being. He looks like me but he's such Harry's son.

Once the living room is free of scattered noise makers, I patter down the basement stairs to join Harry in his man cave/home studio. I catch him scribbling in his songwriting journal. The leather bound one he's often spotted with in pap photos. I come up behind him and peck his neck, placing my lips on the shell of his ear. "Hi Haz." He startles a bit but recovers quickly. "Hey. I thought you'd fall asleep up there with Lennie.. soak up all the birthday boy snuggles you can before he turns one tomorrow." My eyes well up with tears.

"We have a one year old tomorrow Haz. It's his birthday in..." I pause to look at the time on my phone. "Fours hours. That's absolutely insane to me." Harry smiles up at my sad pouty face. He reaches up and squeezes my cheek with his fingertips. He nods over to the cinema screen hanging on the wall. "Would if make you feel better to watch his birth video? Hm?" I smile, wiping my misty eyes. "Yeah it would..."

We snuggle up on the couch and press play on the video.

"Hi love-bug. We're having a baby today huh?" Harry asks from behind the camera as he films me, pointing the camera into our bathroom mirror. "Yeah... I think we are. They're getting pretty intense. Can you call my brother please and your mom to help film?" I ask as I straighten up from leaning on the bathroom counter, hugging my heavy dropping bump.

Feeling my face crumple, I turn and hide my tears in Harry's shoulder. I hear him chuckle. "Baby! We haven't even gotten to the good part!" I nod, blindly grabbing for his hand. "I know, I'm a wimp! Don't remind me."

Once I'm able to compose myself and look up from Harry's shoulder, Harry's filming me from above as I'm laying on the floor next to our bed, wrapped in our big comforter and my brother (who was also my midwife... is there such a thing as mid... husband?) is trying to convince me to drink a bit of water or at least suck on a popsicle for energy.

"Honey bee, will you please just try a little." Harry asks, sounding a bit frustrated as he films me from above. Aires looks up at him from sitting beside me with a hand on my back, a big metal water bottle beside him as he's trying to have me take a sip of water. "Kiwi, it's just water, you won't throw it up. Just take some to at least get that nasty puke taste out of your mouth. For baby T please."

I chuckle when I hear 'baby T' forgetting that we changed Lennon's name from Theodore to Lennon shortly after he was born.

Harry's face becomes an expression of longing. Longing to help me feel better once I start pushing on screen, my big loud moans giving me a lot of progress. Harry squeezes my hand as the me on screen begs Harry to help me.

"Harry! Please! HELP! Make it stop!" I'm starting to panic as Harry holds me steady in a squat in the nest I made during transition, his lips in my neck. "Baby, you are doing this. You got this. He's almost here I promise! You've just got his tummy out. It's almost over. Keep pushing baby. That's it just like that."