Pink Suits: forever and then some || LenRisa

Chapter 15: Sweet Felony

Theresia's POV

I drown in tears as I watch Leonor leave knowing she's carrying a weighted heart and a broken soul. After all we've said, I've never felt hurted by her words towards me, but by how I blamed everything on her.

The roads aren't kind to those who doesn't have light feelings. Dangers are around which then made my worries strike up. She's out there somewhere and the reason was me.

I blame your father for not showing you what you really deserve
You grew up not knowing your worth.
Always seeking for other's validation
No matter how hard you tried in a situation.

I blame your mother for reducing your trust
To the point that your eyes lost the lust.
For making you feel alone
and leaving you in a path that's left unknown.

I blame myself for giving up in patience
When all you wanted was my presence.
Should've chose to explain
Now by which it caused you pain.

It's hurts me that when you were lost, you were left alone by those you loved the most.

I sat in despair thinking about regrets that I should've handle the situation better and not like how I just did. Soon enough, I heard the doorbell and it was Leila. Without saying a word, she hugged me and rubbed my back to comfort me as my eyes were filled with disappointment.

"Breathe." she said and I did. We both sat on the sofa and I offered her a beer bottle which then she took to join me.

"Kumusta ka?" she asked and I bursted tears again. Leila started shushing me and tapped my lap to stop me already. "Pinagsisisihan ko," I admitted.

"All I wanted was to achieve something that I'll accomplish by myself. Leonor has been doing everything for me to the point that I felt worthless already." I added to my words.

"You might feel worthless, pero para sa asawa mo, ikaw ang kahulugan ng buhay niya." she responded. "Inisip ko lang kasi na baka pwedeng habang may inaabot din siyang pangarap, pwede rin akong may mai-abot na para sa akin."

"Pero Theresia, kasal ka nang tao, okay? So mali na iniisip mong kikilos ka nang para lang sa sarili mo dahil simula nung kasal niyo, dapat yun na yung simula ng pagiging isa niyo. Meaning, you bring each other in. Kailangang involved kayong pareho." she adviced.

"Alam kong naiinis ka nung una dahil tutol siya sa gusto mo, pero kung iisipin, she did that out of concern, diba? Leonor knows the type of person that you are and she knows which one will be best for you. Totoong hindi biro ang business world, Theresia. Maybe she doesn't want you to suffer the same way she did. Leonor, being a CEO, went through a lot already. She's the expert here."

While Leila continued to lecture me, I held my wedding ring and it just automatically gave me flashbacks of our wedding day. Maybe sometimes, we really do forget about someone's worth until we lose them for awhile.

You'll only realize one's worth once they're not in front of you anymore.

"Alam mo, Theresia. It's not that I'm siding with Leonor, pero kasi sa tingin ko masyado mababaw yung mga rason na pinangpapalit mo sa pagmamahal mo kay Leonor. Nang dahil lang bumalik yung isa, pinili mo nang makisama dun kesa sa asawa mo."

"Okay naman na kayo eh. Simula nung umepal yung isa, biglang ayan. Gumawa ka ng rason para mag-away kayo kahit na alam mo na nung simula pa lang na mali." she said.

"Sana naiisip mo rin sa sarili mo na sikat yung asawa mo, maraming taga-hanga yan. Ako, nawiwitness ng mga mata ko kung gaano karami ang fans na nakakasalubong niya sa araw-araw. Sa dinami daming lumalapit sa kanya, at the end of the day, she still finds herself closer to you."

"Tapos ikaw, isa lang ang lumapit sayo..."

"Nabulag ako agad." I continued for her and she nodded in agreement. "Ikaw na nagsabi niyan ha."

"Alam ko namang mahal mo ang asawa mo. You just have to express it more. Love her more. Yung pagmamahal ni Leonor, wala nang ibang katulad yan. Kaya nga hinahanap mo kapag nawawala, diba?"

"Siguro natakot lang ako na baka hindi na ako makagawa ng mga sariling kong gusto," I said with my head lowered.

"Leonor also did the same thing. Sure ka bang lahat ng 'to, okay na agad sa kanya? Hindi 'no! She had to make adjustments before dahil alam niyang kasal na tao na siya. Kasi nga mag-asawa na kayo, so you need each other anywhere na. No matter what, you'll hold each other's hand and walkthrough."

"Oh, ayan. Nag-message sa akin si Leonor na nasa opisina siya. Dun daw siya mag-stay hanggang bukas." Leila informed me and I gasped sadly. "Di siya uuwi?" I asked and the older woman nodded at me.

"Sabi niya para daw makapag-isip isip ka rin daw. Baka kailangan mo lang daw ng space, willing daw siya ibigay pero hanggang bukas lang daw."

"So ayun. When she comes back, show her that you don't only like or love her. Show her that you pursue her. Tignan mo. Mawawala angas niya." Leila said. I nodded taking notes of her words.

I just know that this time I can love my wife better now.

This feels like ruining something that's so beautiful and true.

Leonor, wherever you are. May it be on the roads or inside the buildings, I wish for your safety.
That, as you drive some time, let the paths lead you back to me and within my arms once again.
This made me realize that I was in the wrong because all along it was just "you and me" and never us.
So, help me make it right. If you don't end up in my arms, I'll make sure you'll be the last.