My Nerd BxB

Chapter 34

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CARTERS POV

As I wake up the morning following the party all the memories of last night come rushing back to me. All of the alcohol that I consumed and all the dancing I did as well. Then the even worse memories hit me.

Those being the whole Amanda situation and as if that doesn't break my heart I also then remember calling Martin after all of those events took place and all I can think about is how that made him feel.

I mean the whole being an asshole to him even after he helped me get home safely.

I lay in bed for the rest of the weekend as well as on Monday which is when we were supposed to go back to school.

That Monday Jonah came to get me just shortly after the noon hour and this is so that he and I can hang out and not only that but so I can get my car and drive it back to my place.

Once at Jonah's house, he and I start talking about the party and he brings up that so many wild things happened that night.

After Jonah said that I immediately spilled to him everything that happened and sat there in utter awe at what I was saying.

This is gonna be so bad I can already feel it.

MARTINS POV

After I dropped Carter off that night I had a million thoughts running through my head and very few are good.

I love Carter with all I have but for some reason, he has been so distant from me and refuses to communicate about how he feels about me and is always regretting his actions towards me but then does nothing to fix it.

I get dressed Monday morning in my all-grey Nike tracksuit and head off to school where all anyone can talk about is Jonah's party.

I have been curious to know what happened at the party but for some reason, people were going crazy about one story in particular and it was about Amanda nonetheless hooking up with someone who I am not too sure but I am sure I will find out by the end of the day all I can think is awhh what a poor soul.

When I go to class I see Mason and he gives me this confused look of pity this is extremely confusing because nothing I have done in the past few days would require such reactions.

6 HOURS LATER

After I found out why Mason gave me that look I could do nothing but cry."

I left the school and went home after composing myself but I knew what I needed to do and so I did it.

I texted Carter and asked him if it was Ok if I came over to his house to which he responded very quickly with a yes.

It's time for a conversation that is going to take a toll on both of us and I don't think either of us is prepared for what is ahead of us.

As I drove towards Carter's house all I could think about were all of the happy times he and I had spent together. All the fun times and cute memories that he has always provided me with. Now all I can think about now is that I hope all the things I have been told are false and it's all just one big misconception.

As I pull into the driveway I see Carter looking out the window and when he sees me pull up he immediately comes running outside.

I get out of my car looking very serious and at this point very pissed at all that has supposedly happened and walk into the house and up the stairs to his bedroom. I can hear him trailing behind me and once we are both in the room I close the door and lock it and this is how he knows I am serious.

I sit on the bed back to back with Carter and I hear him breathing heavily.

Carter is the first to speak. "Let me guess, you came to break up with me for that boy I saw you with the other day"

I stand up and look at him with confusion and say "what are you talking about" to which he responds "at the Starbucks ".

"Are you Carter trying to tell me that you are jealous of a boy who I was tutoring"

"No," Carter says "I am upset that you were touching him and how close you were to him when he is not your boyfriend I am "

"Carter, He has a disability, and me being close to him and rubbing his back like I was is what made him focus and feel better about himself while working"

The room was silent and I hear Carter whisper something under his breath.

Now this time it is my turn to question and this is something that not only one person has told me about but several have told me about.

"Carter I love you with all that I have "I start "But today I heard something and just wanted to come and talk to you about it first before making any irrational decisions.

Carter stands up behind me and is silent for a minute or so until I speak again. "Please, just tell me it is all a lie and that Amanda and you really did not hookup and or do anything together"

Carter again stands there silent but this time all I hear is a "Sorry"

I turn around and look at him dead in the eyes and once I do this I see how guilty he looks but right now I can't see past the fact that he still cheated on me and although he never said it I apologized meaning he is sorry for something and this is when all my emotions were let loose.

"I never once ever had a thought of cheating on you, now I don't know why you did what you did but I can't control it anymore. You chose to make the decision and now these are the consequences, you are so low for doing whatever you did with her. I have been giving you everything I have to make this relationship work and for you to call me after doing what you did sickens me"

"Martin, please give me a chance to make this right please, I NEED YOU" Carter yells.

"Well then maybe you should've thought about that before going and doing whatever with Amanda. I know this relationship has been hard for you since we became a thing and all but what you have done is something I can't see past right now. You made me love you in every way possible and now here I am standing in front of the man I thought loved me as well ."

Carter stands there looking paler than ever and not even taking his eyes off mine. He watches as I move to the door and unlock it. He grabs my hand but I immediately rip it out of his grasp. I turn to him again this time fighting back the tears.

"Carter, I have loved you and admired you for so long but the cheating and the whole secret thing between us is over. It hurts too much, every time you have to fake it for your friends to believe you are straight a small part of me wishes that it was you telling them about us and how you can go because you are having fun and spending time with your boyfriend but you no longer have to worry about that because until you know what you want and aren't ashamed of me then you know where to find me"

I then open the door and begin down the stairs and once I reach the bottom I hear Carter loudly say my name making me stop in my tracks at this he runs down the stairs and comes right near me and brings his eyes to meet mine and immediately I see the tears running down his face but the next thing you know all I hear him say is "Please don't leave me, I need you more then you will ever know, SO PLEASE STAY " seeing these emotions from him makes me feel like some type of way but none the less I look at him and say "Sorry "and give him one last kiss before Opening the front door and walking out of it with sobs then beginning to be audible.

I walk to my car and sit in it and think, I hope that he realizes that he is missing out and that he comes back for me"

But for now, this is the end of something great.

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