𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧: love and hatred

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"i don't think it was intentional, jieun

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"i don't think it was intentional, jieun. that's why i'm always telling you to just talk it out instead of avoiding people."

kyungjun threw his basketball and grinned proudly as he dunked it. i was sitting on one of the chairs we placed in our backyard and watched him playing around.

"it's awkward.", i replied.

"everything for you is awkward. how did it go with jungwon today, hm? was it awkward too?"


after watching him practice for an hour or so, i was tired and just wanted to go home. he didn't even let me participate; instead, he always tried to brag and show off his skills. but everybody in our class knew how talented he was.

i thought jungwon would be sincere and just act natural. turns out i was wrong as hell.


"hmm.. it was fun? at least he brought me home."

"jieun, stop forcing yourself on another boy. jake and i know you like heeseung and his behaviour today didn't even influence anything.", kyungjun motioned to throw the ball at me, making me flinch and look away.

"still a scaredy-cat since day one, huh? you're scared of the ball, admitting your feelings and you're also scared of rejection. look, i don't think he's going to reject you twice. at least try again."

"me being scared of that ball is called reflexes, they're normal. and if i confessed to heeseung, i wouldn't have a place to hide again. we can't ask dad to go back to australia after all."

"true.", he agreed before cleaning up the area.


"jieun! kyungjun! food's ready!", mom called us and closed the window again. "come on, she said she'd make udon and tonkatsu."

my brother dragged me along. "japanese food?", i wondered. "maybe she was in the mood. but udon sounds quite delicious, doesn't it?"

the both of us started to bicker on our way to the dining room before spotting a guest right next to our father.

heeseung stood up and bowed politely: "good evening."

"drop the formalities, heeseung. you're basically part of the family already!", my mom argued and placed a bowl right in front of his face.

"when did he arrive and why is he eating with us?", i yelled. "jieun, please. keep your voice low and sit down already. i had a tiring meeting today.", dad mumbled while taking of his glasses to massage his eyes.

kyungjun quickly sat down, leaving me the seat right opposite heeseung. mentally, i groaned furiously, but played it off and joined the family.


the three of them were in their own world, talking about kyungjun's graduation which was supposed to happen soon and also his position in the company. as the eldest of us, he obviously would have to take more responsibility, as well as power. i wonder what plans my parents would have for me then.

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