Fortuitously

Chapter 20

The memory fades from my vision and I find myself hunched over the desk, gasping for air. My eyes begin to water as the memories slowly seep back into my head. I see a short movement from the corner of my eye my head quickly shoots up.

Snape is standing at the doorway, watching me. His eyes showing his seething.

"What. The fuck. Do you think you're doing?" His grimace throws me off momentarily.

"Why the fuck did you take my memories?"

He is slightly taken aback. "I— did what I felt necessary."

"You don't get to just decide what's necessary, Asshole. Those were my fucking memories and you stole them from me." I slam my hand against his desk, not paying any attention to where I land my blow.

I hear the sound of glass breaking and the slicing of my flesh. When I look down my hand is covered in red and black. The red being my blood, and the black being the ink from the small jar I just destroyed.

Severus' eyes shift to worried "Y/n--"

"Now you care? Just earlier the mere sight of me made you sick-- speaking of which-- You had me removed from my position? I mean so little to you now?" My voice breaks off at the end as I feel myself wanting to cry.

"Of course not--"

"Then why would you do this to me?" My voice is begging now. "This was what I wanted and you took it from me!" A tear trails down my cheek.

"Y/n your hand--" He steps toward me.

"Fuck my hand." I step back ignoring the scarlet puddle beneath me. "You called me stupid and you had me removed."

"I don't need a reminder of what I've done, Y/n, I was fucking there." His patience is running short.

"Oh you don't need a reminder? I'm sorry I couldn't remember if I obliviated you or not but that's probably due to the fact that you obliviated that memory from me as well. Is that just what we're doing now?"

"Dammit Y/n!" He just about yells. "I made the decision to take those memories when I was sure you'd never feel the same way about me as I do for you. I was— ashamed and that's something I've never wanted to feel again. You're young and there was no point in showing you I loved you had you not felt the same because the only thing that it does is put a burden on ones mind. And dammit y/n it really does make me sick to see you! It makes me sick to be around you. I can't be near you and not be with you. So I told Dumbledore to remove you and I told you those things in hopes to make you not fight your removal. And I'm sorry if that hurts you to hear, y/n but I'm hurting too."

"Jesus fucking Christ you're the most selfish person I've ever fucking met." I let out a lifeless chuckle and walk to the door, allowing my blood to drip in a trail behind me. My tears continue gliding down my cheeks as I pause. "You want to know what's sad?... If you would have just toughened that shit out-- if you would have just taken the rejection like everyone else... you would've soon come to find out that everything I said was fucking lie. It took every ounce of strength I had in my body to fight that potion and I did it because I was afraid. I knew you loved Lily and I'm only 16. I have nothing to offer you but my love. But now even that is broken so I guess there's no use for it anyway."

I don't attempt to see his reaction. I turn away and leave.

As I'm walking down the corridor my head begins feeling light. I forget I'm injured and it hasn't stopped bleeding. I raise my hand, feeling dizzy. It's numb and has no color.

"Y/n?" I look up and smile at my favorite boy at least 20 feet from me, staring at my hand.

"Draco."

"What the hell happened?" He begins rushing over to me.

"I think I might need to see Madam Pomfrey." My smile fades and I feel my eyes rolling to the back of my head as my body falls.

Help.

A few short chapters but it was the best I could do for now. It's been a while so I'm sorry but I refuse to write when I'm not in the mood.

This is supposed to be my passion and I think a part of me would die if it began feeling like a job.