Fortuitously

Chapter 34

Y/n,

What the actual fuck is going on over there? And why the fuck did you decide to start sleeping with Lupin AFTER I left??? I'm missing everything and it's your fault. I hate you. I'm coming back as soon as possible. 

-draco

I sigh, closing the letter. "What is it, darling?" Remus asks, laying beside me. 

"It's Draco. He's coming back." I roll my eyes, grinning at Draco's need to always be in the middle of drama. 

"So soon?" Remus furrows his brows, tilting his head. 

"Yes, he thinks he's missing out on the wonderful story that is my life." I smile. Remus begins a smile but is interrupted by an unforgiving cough. My smile disappears and is replaced with worry. "Did you ask Madam Pomfrey for anything?" I ask, patting his back. 

"Yes, but I'm afraid I'm a bit too weak from the upcoming full moon, and it hasn't done much to help." He leans forward, coughing again. 

"Well when is Severus supposed to give you, your potion?"

Remus glances at me momentarily from the side of his eye with a knowing look. "Severus won't look at me, let alone speak to me. I can kiss that potion goodbye." 

I frown. "That isn't fair. Should you speak to Albus?" 

"And tell him what exactly? 'Professor Snape is angry with me because I stole his girlfriend who also happens to be a student here on campus and now he won't make my potion'? It's no use." He shakes his head.

"Have you even tried asking him about it?" I attempt to come up with a solution. 

"Of course I have, y/n. You don't think I've pleaded with him to reason with me? It won't work. I get it. I'd hate me if I were him." His face grows sad and he shrugs attempting to seem alright. He's not. 

I hate that he feels this way. I hate that Severus is withholding something he needs over something as stupid as this. I stare into his eyes, looking for the right thing to do-- a way to fix this. I purse my lips together and exhale. 

"I'll get it for you." I nod, reassuring him. "I'll fix this, I promise." I give him a quick peck before scooting off the bed. 

"Y/n, I don't want you getting in the middle of this." 

"I'm already in the middle of this, Rem. This started because of me. I need to do this." 

"I don't want you feeling forced to speak to him, when you've spent all break trying to avoid him." His eyes are full of worry. 

I smile at his consideration. "Don't fret, darling. I'll be fine. Promise." I walk over and kiss his forehead before, turning on my heel and heading for the door. 

----

I knock three times. Maybe he didn't hear me. 

Should I knock again?  He's probably in his room if his office was empty. 

I'm about  to knock one more time, but the door swings open and I'm frozen with my fist still raised in front of me. 

He freezes, and his face grows pale. "y/n?" 

I'm not breathing. I don't know how to anymore. My lungs won't expand. My mouth won't open. I need to breathe. Why won't I breathe? My head grows faint.

"Y/n--" 

"Severus-- Hi." I inhale deeply. "I need to talk to you." 

His eyes grow and a glint of life shines through. 

"Of course. Come in." He steps aside, allowing me into his classroom.

I step around him, allowing myself into the classroom. I take note of all the work spread across his desk. 

"What's all this?"

"I'm prepping for the next term." He answers, confused. He doesn't address the fact that it's unusual for me to be here, he only watches me, wearily as he makes his way back to his desk. 

I'm standing in front of it now, looking through the papers as he organizes them.

"How are you, Severus?" I look up at him with soft eyes. He looks down at me, standing stiff and not answering. "Do you still hate me?" My voice is small and kind. His demeanor changes and his mouth turns sad.  

"Y/n-- I've never hated you..." His eyes shift back and forth between mine. "How could I ever?" 

My breath catches in my throat. I stand in silence, searching his eyes for the reason I even came here. 

Remus. 

"And Remus?" I ask. "Why is it you still treat him the way you do?" 

Severus regains his composure and his face now fills with hatred. "Y/n why are you here exactly?" His voice is accusing. 

"Remus is sick, Sev." 

"Don't." He puts his hand up, stopping me. "Don't speak to me like you care. I am Professor Snape. Don't you dare address me as anything but." His back is turned to me now and he's gathering his things. 

"Professor Snape." I call for his attention as I walk around the desk. He ignores me. "Severus, please." I grab his wrist and yank him to face me. 

"You cannot be angry with me or him. We didn't do anything to you. I've forgiven you. No matter how much it kills me to remember what you did, I've forgiven everything. I'm not asking you to like me or to even look at me after this. I'm just asking that you give him what he needs so that he isn't suffering. Please." I release his wrist, defeated. "Severus, please."

His eyes water and his brows come together as he reaches up for my face. My eyes are watering now as his thumb glides back and forth across my cheek. He uses everything to turn away and release me. 

"My office. Third shelf from the ground. Leave." He points to the door, dismissing me. I exhale. 

"Thank you... " I step towards him, reaching for an embrace. 

"Don't. Please don't touch me." His voice is near breaking. "I couldn't bear it if you touched me." The last words barely make it out of his throat as a whisper as he stares down at the papers on his desk. 

I nod, my tear, falling down to my chin as I turn away and leave him.