Redemption Song | Levi & Eren

Chapter 10: Cat's in the Cradle

      Levi sat across from his therapist, wishing he could leave. He pleaded internally for someone to break the cycle for him, to release him from the painfully slow passage of time.

Levi was trapped in the same conundrum week after week. Leave and lose what little he had left or stay and suffer to then later go out into the world and remain miserable. The option of self-help appeared inconceivable to the officer.

"What are you thinking about?" Pieck asked softly.

Levi contemplated his answer, settling for being rude. "I must be halfway done with this by now?"

She checked her watch. Sleek and black. Analogue, not digital. "Just passed thirty minutes. You've hardly said a word."

"That's unusual?" he returned, slouching in his seat.

"For you? Very much so. You always talk. Sometimes you don't so much and sometimes you ramble but you always say something." she pointed out after having spent enough time with him to understand his mannerisms. "Something on your mind? Something other than the usual?"

"You don't know what the usual is."

"And who's fault is that?"

"Yours. Be better at your job."

Levi wanted to say more but bit his tongue. He knew she couldn't reveal the intimate details of their sessions to Erwin but she could inform him if he was being difficult.

Erwin had always been lenient with Levi given his history, but like everyone else, Erwin had a breaking point. Levi feared the day he crossed the line.

"Sorry," he uttered but couldn't look at her.

She half-smiled at him. "That's alright. I've gotten used to it."

Levi always took note of the silence between the two of them. If he was quiet around Erwin, Hanji, Petra or others, he didn't care. They'd come to expect his silence as was his preference.

However, that didn't stop them from constantly trying to spark a conversation. In Pieck's office, that expectation was royally removed.

"There's been some...developments lately." he kept his words vague enough until he gathered more intrepidity. "I've been...taking care of someone."

"Ah, yes. Erwin informed me about the change. How are you handling it?" she inquired.

"What?" Levi's head spun. "How the hell does he know?"

To add to Levi's confusion, Pieck grew bewildered herself. "Erwin told me he assigned her to you. Officer Ral? The trainee."

"Oh..." he relaxed. Realisation hit him long after the damage had been done. She leaned forward in her seat opposite the sofa she had her patients rest on.

"Were you thinking about someone different?" her question was met with the avoidance of eye contact. "Levi? Who were you talking about?"

He sighed in defeat. He faced her with reluctance. "That client confidentiality rule? The one I could get a half-decent lawyer to win a court case over if I tell him you told Erwin about our discussions." he reminded. She nodded in understanding although wanted to explain that she had an obligation to report any concerns. "You can't bullshit your way around it if I tell you this."

"It stays between you and I unless it poses a risk to your health," she explained.

"Not good enough. No one's dead but I need your word on this." fought Levi.

She mused to herself. Levi seemed willing to discuss this private matter. There was a lot he wanted to keep from others and a lot she kept from Erwin in regards to their sessions too, even if Levi refused to believe her. Her main priority was getting the man to open up.