Redemption Song | Levi & Eren

Chapter 15: Behind Blue Eyes

      His bloody knuckles stood out among his tired body. His skin was paler than usual and the bags under his eyes were darker, showing the world he hadn't slept lately. Fatigue riddled his body, she figured when he stumbled through the door yawning.

The client's sofa groaned under Levi's heavy weight. The man sunk into the furniture, desperate for comfort after a long night. A night filled with peaceful chaos.

Eren's presence tamed his outward actions but the mental torment raised hell. He kept his distance from him, not replying when Eren offered to buy dinner and chose to go to bed hungry. Sleep eluded him.

Pieck sat opposite as was the standard arrangement. Levi's habits changed as of late. He used to arrive on time, deducting that Erwin would reprimand him for not taking mandatory therapy seriously.

He arrived behind schedule today. His resting face was hard to read, but today he sported a downcast expression. If it was born from a lack of sleep or something else, she was uncertain.

"Levi?" she called his name.

He wasn't sure he could speak. He hadn't opened his lips since his shouting match with his walls. The quarrel attracting Eren's attention rendered him mute. He couldn't explain it. Correction, he could, but would rather not.

He and Eren weren't close like that. No one was. Another choice he'd taken into his own hands, robbing everyone of the opportunity to understand him.

"Anything you want to talk about?" the therapist deliberately left the question open instead of making direct assumptions.

Someone was punishing him. He didn't know who or their reason why but he was sure of it. The similarities between his army life and modern life presented themselves near daily now.

It started with adopting a stray. He thought nothing of it at the time, for both their sakes. Then it got obvious. Seeing Petra cradle that small girl right after his dream early that morning was torture. The final straw was seeing Oruo, a ghost of the man he used to be.

Levi inwardly scoffed at the irony. Both men were pale imitations of their former selves. Levi was lucky no one knew him before his return to England par one individual Levi refused to visit.

"Did something happen recently?" Pieck patiently pressed.

Far too much but he feared his suffering was not yet finished.

"Erwin's been keeping me up with your calls," she informed. "A suicide jumper?"

"Attempted." he corrected. He returned to silence right after not speaking for nearly a day.

"Still. Must have been difficult. I heard he was young." Pieck continued, inviting Levi to reply. She was met with quietude. "How's he doing?"

"I don't know." Levi caved to her constant questioning. "I don't do check-ups."

"So, he could be dead for all you know?"

"It's possible."

The room processed the exchange with silent tension. Levi's eyes actively avoided Pieck with ease. The therapist bowed her head to meet his peripheral vision, however, he ignored her appeal to look at her.

"...What about the Braun family?"

Levi shut his eyes, surprised it had taken her this long for her to bring it up. He stifled another yawn. He'd adapted to surviving on little sleep years ago as well as bad dreams and memories.

The job never bothered him as much as it had done in recent past, resulting in his evolution being useless.

"It was hard not to hear about it, even if Erwin hadn't told me. It was all over the news. Everyone on their phones, making assumptions. I stay away from social media for reasons like this. Everyone has an opinion on something they know very little about."