Until Then

Arm and Nat SS

- Continuation of Chapter 17 -
ARM AND NAT AFTER THE CARNIVAL.

-RECAP-

Arm Pov.

"Armmm.. I'm (*sniffs) so sorryyy please don't (*sniffs-) hate me...wahhhhhh" he went directly to me. I was a little stunned but I grabbed him and gave him a hug to shut him up.

"We're gonna head back first bro.." Tay told us both while waving goodbye. I waved back at Tay and they all left leaving me and Nat in the carnival.

"Please stop crying, fix yourself and follow me." I told him and went outside the carnival looking for a place to talk. I noticed that there was an old playground at the back and went there directly. From time to time I would glance at Nat to see if he is really following behind me.

I stopped and sat on on of the swings. He also sat beside me and we stayed there in silence for over a minute.

"So.. tell me.. why are you crying?" I asked him wanting to know how he feels first. I know he's a sensitive guy but he needs to realize his mistakes too. I'm not the kind of person that just folds when someone is crying. I need the explanation.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to hurt you.. I was honestly just catching up with a friend. I didn't think you would mind." He told me honestly. From his voice, without looking at him, I could hear him still crying a little bit.

"Would you stop crying.. first of all, I'm not mad at you. Anymore." I explained to him. I admit I was mad before but Gun really helped me clear my mind up.

"You're not?" He looked at me this time and I did too.

"I'm not. So just shut up for a moment." I told him. I wanted to tell him my feelings before I get embarrassed again and reject him as a defense mechanism.

He placed his hands on his mouth and looked at me with anticipation.

"I'll say this once and I don't wanna hear any reaction from you. I just wanna warn you, I might cry but this is not from sadness or anger but just me saying these stuff to you." I told him and he signed a cross in his chest as a promise. I knew myself pretty well so I warned him before hand.

"I was jealous before, I know it didn't seem like it but it did affect me a little. You told me you like me, then you go and get that girls phone number and even planned a date. And worse! You even paraded it into our table. It seemed like you didn't care about my feelings at all." I almost choked up as I said the last sentence. I paused for a bit and held myself together not to breakdown.

"I was really angry. No. Actually I was more sad. I saw you two together and you guys seemed really close. I automatically put into my mind that you were better off without me. You're a lot younger than me and starting a family might be one of your goals. But being with me, you can't achieve that." After saying those words. I felt a tear escaped my eyes and I looked at him. He was not looking at me instead he was looking down.

"I.. I.. tried not to think about those things but I couldn't help it with your personality. You might have dreams that I'm stopping you from reaching. And trust me. I don't wanna be the reason you're unhappy in the future." I almost couldn't finish because I was already crying. I hate feeling this way but if I don't do this now, I can never tell him how I feel.

"I'm whiney, apparently I get jealous over stupid things, I don't like to be clingy, I'm not romantic at all, I overthink most of the time and I love my work more than anything." I started listing all the things that is wrong with me. I wanted him to realize what he's getting into.

"Now tell me.. do you still like me after hearing all those things? If you can't then I'll understand. Just leave me." I finally had the courage to ask him. He was still fixated on the ground and then he stood up without looking at me. Is he really gonna leave? I closed my eyes and bowed my head.