House Of Cards

9: Damage

She gaped at his face rendered completely speechless, waiting for him to tell her that it was all a joke. She couldn't believe that he met the man that disrespected their relationship and then pretended like it never happened. His eyes peered into her and when not a hint of humor could be traced, the feeling of betrayal slapped her face making her unable to stand his presence.

"Look, I am not defending him or anything. I know what he said and did was wrong but he has apologized for his mistakes. We both know he was going through depression and he was struggling so he made terrible choices but I can't just drop him out of my life for his one mistake..." Taehyung explained his point sitting right across from her. However, no words could make her grasp his willingness to stay friends with the guy that had blatantly condemned him, going as far as calling him toxic and mentally unstable.

It reminded her of an incident when a friend of hers had unintentionally offended him due to her lack of sense of responsibility. Claiming that if he ever had a friend like that, he would have kicked them out of his life Taehyun had shunned her for not doing so. His bitterness for that specific friend was so harsh that even talking her name would result in a fight breaking out between them.

"I couldn't just ignore him, he has been trying to reach out for a month. I felt like he deserves one chance to explain himself" Taehyung added causing Saya's brows to tick in annoyance.

After their latest exchange, Saya had blocked Seon Je in the chat nevertheless it didn't stop him from trying to contact her. He would use someone else's phone to text her and write her emails that could be converted into ten pages of PDF. He would apologize for his behavior and at the same time blame her for being the reason that drove him to act the certain ways. Lastly, when nothing worked, he went as far as to send her a handwritten letter through the post.

Needless to say, Saya was traumatized. For a few days, she couldn't get a blink of sleep recalling his words and how he claimed he could have done anything with her when she was drunk. Following his words, Saya had completely stopped drinking in general not being able to trust people around her. 

Unfortunately for her, the guy she loved and lived with for two years disregarded the damage his so-called best friend had caused her and was protecting their friendship instead of her. It was painful to watch that the guy she hoped would fend for her was shielding the guy responsible for traumatizing her.

"You do know I can't even drink now because it reminds me of what could have happened" her voice nearly cracked but she managed to feign an unaffected expression.

Taking a deep inhale, the words flowed from his lips before he could stop them "Honestly Saya, you go nuts when you drink, you nearly stripped your clothes in front of him when you were drunk. You would flirt with him so It's natural for a guy to think that way. I am not saying it's right but some men can't help and as an adult and as a woman, you should have been careful. You need to learn to control yourself to avoid such trouble. This is the real world. You won't find a knight in shining armor waiting to protect you"

His words worked like needles pricking her dignity and as hot tears welled up in her eyes, it took a great deal of self-control to keep them at bay. In the end, it would always be a girl's fault and honestly, she found every one of his words true. Just because men were expected to be open-minded and noble doesn't necessarily mean all men will be so It was indeed her fault to expect some decency from men around her.

"Look, he is not a harmful person nor he is evil. He just messed up really badly. Plus I don't expect you to forgive him. I did this for myself. For my peace of mind, I went to meet him and hear what he had to say. He realized his mistake and that's enough. It's not that I am going back to being buddies with him. It's just that I no longer want this person to be a taboo topic for me. I don't want to keep refusing to meet my other friends just to avoid him. I can't stand the awkwardness in the air whenever his name comes up in our conversation and moreover, I really think it was all a miscommunication..." Taehyung justified his decision knowing too well that Saya was hugely disappointed but he was confident in a few days she will revert back to normal.

That was the quality Taehyung always admired of her, she was an enduring person capable of forgiving people therefore though she had asserted she would break their friendship off if he would ever talk with Seon je, he wasn't worried. In fact, he was confident she wouldn't give up on him for such a trivial matter.

A scoff escaped from her lips at his hypocrisy but she had been aware of his nature so the only person that could be blamed for her disappointment was herself. She knew he was one heck of a selfish brat and the care he gave to her was for his own selfish need and yet she loved him so jokes were on her.

If only it was easy to get rid of her feelings for him by cutting the part that still ached for him, she would be happily operating the scissors through her heart. She wished the scorn she was feeling could be tattooed on her chest to remind her how little she meant to him.

"Well then" she put her palm against her thigh and pushed herself to rise up from the edge of his bed.

"Congratulation for getting rid of one of your baggage" She threw him a forced smile and giving him a head nod, ambled out of the apartment his, after all, presence had morphed into hands that were strangling the remaining of her dignity.

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