Mr Sexy Billionaire Hates Me

4: Healing and Letting Go

Jocelyn woke up with a throbbing migraine, she feel weak and powerless as she try opening her eyes to adjust to the brightness of the room.

She was met with the white ceiling of the hospital. She needn't to be told that she is in the hospital because the smell hit her right at the moment of her consciousness.

Looking around the empty ward, she noticed that she is all alone. No other patients aside her. Trying to seat up, the drip connected to her vein stopped her from doing so. How did she end up here? Different types of questions cloud her mind but she had no answers to them.

All the incidents that happened earlier came flooding her mind. Jocelyn suddenly felt numb, all her feelings– that of guilt, self irritation, sadness, anger and confusion were tied like she was a shell.

She closed her eyes tightly to suppress the pain but it yielded no result. Those men, they've succeeded in destroying her self esteem. She will be stigmatized for the rest of her life knowing that she was a rape victim.

She felt dirty to herself and completely broken. The image of how they took turns to take advantage of her taunt her head and her mental vision.

She suddenly finds it hard to breath. Her breath hitched in her throat like there is a lump obstructing its passage. Jocelyn didn't know when her hands raised up to her chest as she gasp for air, totally forgetting that she has a drip on her hand which might remove.

She is having a panic attack, with one hand on her chest, her other hand clutch tightly to the bedspread for strength.

At that time, the door swung opened and Fred stepped into her ward. Taking in the situation in front of him and seeing how Jocelyn is fighting to breath, he absentmindedly rushed towards her.

Fred sat down at the edge of the bed before picking her up from the bed into his embrace, drawing her closer to himself. He felt the need to comfort her.

"It's okay, calm down and breath. None of them are here, no one will hurt you so breath, just follow my lead and breath in, breath out" Fred as he started taking in slow breath and out.

Jocelyn heed to his advise, doing exactly as he is until she was calm, breathing at a normal pace once again.

"Are you okay?" He blurted out before he could stop himself from asking. He felt a different kind of emotion rush into him as he held her close to him.

Having her in his arm made him feel at peace and relaxed with a mixed feeling of what he is not sure about. His eyes never for once left hers, he was mesmerized by her small eyes and shinny eyeballs.

Jocelyn stared up at her saviour and blinked twice. He had a stylish hair cut and a scythe shaped eyebrows.
His straight nose and half dome-cheekbone sat above his woody jaw. His sea blue eyes twinkled, staring right back at her.

He is beautiful and sexy, far more better than a lot of guys she has seen. Jocelyn diverted her attention from his body and feebly nodded her head in response then made it out of his grasp.

Fear entwined in her heart, who is he and why is he in her ward? Is he here to hurt her even more? To inflict more pain on her?

Fred was lost of words as if his brain has been formatted leaving it blank with nothing in it. His intent gaze on her didn't make him think of anything else.

Now, seeing the girl he despise so much in front of him, all his angers and hatred were thrown out of the window. Right now, his thoughts were far from breaking the already broken girl in front of him. Rather, he wants to protect her. It is unlike him, he felt as if he is running crazy from the feelings he is getting.

Fred has never felt this unfamiliar rush of emotions in the entirety of his life. His eyes remained glued to her until he heard riffles of the bedsheet and a sudden distance between them because Jocelyn cowered away in horror while wincing in pain. Her abrupt movement made her private part hurt.

Fred cleared his throat and stood up.  His eyes stopped on her vein to see that she is bleeding and the drip is pouring on the bed.

"I should call the doctor to attend to you" he said and scurried out of the room, returning with a doctor not long after.

"Good morning Miss, I am Doctor Smith please can I know your name?" He asked her.

Jocelyn could only mop at them, she couldn't open her mouth to speak even if she wants to. She flinched back the moment doctor Smith touched her while shaking her head in disapproval. She doesn't want to see them—men, she is already feeling disgusted with her own self.

She just wants to be alone and wallow in her misery, there is already nothing to live for. Her apartment, her job, her dignity and self worth were all locked up.

Doctor Smith took a quick glance at Fred who gave him a murderous glare for whatever reason he is not sure of. He quickly look away from him, focusing his attention back to his patient. Fred's presence in the room makes him feel the need to use the restroom all of a sudden.

His expression and domineering personality frighten him.

"I am a doctor, please feel free with me. You are safe with us" he said referring to both him and Fred. Still, Jocelyn remained mute, she only stare blankly at them with no words forming on her lips.

"Can you recall anything?" Doctor Smith asked. Jocelyn remembers everything that has happened, from being fired at work, to loosing her apartment, being tossed out by landlords and landladies and then getting raped by five men. How can she forget that?

How can she forget that when the scars are still on her body? The physical scars that will heal with time and the emotional scars that might take forever to heal.

Seeing that she won't answer, doctor Smith sighed.

"Do you feel any better?" He queried again hoping that she will at least give him an answer.

This time, Jocelyn shook her head helplessly.

"I feel– worse, everything hurts" she replied and broke into silent sobs. The sight of her crying broke Fred's heart into pieces.

For the first time since he grew up, he slightly regretted his rash decision. Maybe he could have just ignored her and try getting her out of his mind. He is partially at fault for what has happened to her.

This vulnerable lady will find it difficult to heal. He is changing, and breaking all the rules for her, the girl that doesn't know who he is.

The only thing he can do for her now is to help her heal and once she is well enough, he will let her go, he will make sure she is far away from him.

That way, he will get rid of his feelings for her and he will try to stop loving her.