Leviathan (Frerard)

✞𝟏𝟒. ✞

PART IV:
MY MIND'S ALWAYS SPINNING AROUND

CHAPTER 2: "I HATED NOT SEEING HIM. I STILL HATE I CAN'T SEE HIM."

Gerard's pov:

I sat in my room on my desk drawing that strange dream I had of Bert. My phone rang jolting me out of concentration. I answered it. "Gerard, what the fuck happened?" "What?" "I found Frank shaking and crying upstairs. So I'll ask again. What the fuck happened?" "I got mad and left." "You shouldn't leave someone when they need you." "I left before he was crying. I'll come there right now." "What?" "Mikey. Please leave and Ray too. Okay." I said. "I hope you know what your doing, brother." I laughed a little. "Me too."
I walked to Frank's house kind of knowing what it was about more like who it was about. I tapped on his window seeing him cry on his bed alone. I hope he wasn't alone for too long. He got up and opened the window. "Frank, why are you crying?" I asked and hugged him. He hugged back. It was kind of like the day I spoke to him for the first time in months. He pulled away from my embrace. He leaned into me. A sad kiss again. I smirked and kissed him not wanting it to be sad. But more like 'I love you, please make me forget my problems at least for a little bit.' Type of kiss.

"I had a dream about Bert." "Seriously? What happened." I asked. "Not much. He just told me that he's jealous of me." "Why?" "Because I make you happy." I stayed quiet not sure of what to think. "I understand if you're mad at me. Or if you hate me." "Frank... I don't.." "No, I know what you're going to say..." He tried walking away from me. "Don't leave..." "Why shouldn't I? I already know what you're going to say, Gerard." Before he left I grabbed his hand. "Frank, I love you. I don't hate you at all and I'm not mad. I'm worried. Why do you think I kissed you so desperately? I don't want to kiss when we're sad. I want to kiss you because I love you." He didn't say anything. Maybe he's surprised.
He got off the bed and looked for something. He found whatever he was looking for. It was a bong, I smiled a familiar bong. A bong that Bert used to have. But he gave it to Frank. He smoked out of it. "Want a hit?" "No." He kissed me but it was different this time. The best kiss I've had with him so far. Even if he is high.

I didn't speak. I didn't feel like it anymore. I started at him both of us quiet. I laughed a little. It reminded me of Bert and I. He would smoke all of the time either it was out of a pipe or a bong. I would smoke my cigarettes or sing. I think it was that one type of relationship where we wanted to be around each other all of the time. Just for the company. He could never be alone for too long. I couldn't either. I hated not seeing him. I still hate that I can't see him. I stared at his black jacket. I wasn't wearing it, but holding it in my arms. It's the only thing I have left of him. "Gerard." I heard Frank say. I don't want to talk, but I know I can be harsh. I bit my tongue and stared at his jacket again.

Flashback:

"Gerard?" "Yeah?" "What's wrong." "I miss you constantly when you're not around. It makes me feel fucking dumb." He laughed and passed his cigarette to me. "What are you a teenager?" He said laughing again. "Well Gee you are. So you shouldn't feel stupid. He sat on my lap facing me. I blushed and looked away from him. I felt more dumb. But I didn't say I was. He took off his jacket. "Here." "What?" He rolled his eyes. "I have to explain? Really?" I laughed. "You, fucker. I'm trying to be nice." "I know. I'm sorry." He laughed. "It's fine. I already know how you are, Gee." I'm glad he didn't notice that I thought he meant something else by him taking off his jacket. He widened his eyes. God damnit.
"Gerard." Ugh, my face turned red. "What?" I said being dumb. He blushed and didn't look at me. "Are you okay?" I asked. "I'm fine. I just... I don't feel that well." He said sitting on his bed and still not looking at me. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." "What? No, I just don't want you to see the scars I have. They're so ugly." "I've seen the ones on your wrists and I don't think they're ugly. They worry me but I've never thought you were ugly or the scars." He grinned. "Thanks."

~
I wonder if any of you clouds noticed what I've been referencing with Gerard entering through Frank's window. I was making a reference to Billy how he enters through Sidney's window in Scream. Because you know it's a little serial killer like. Also thank you sm for 100 reads on this <3
- Sid <3