Leviathan (Frerard)

☨𝟏𝟔. ☨

TW: SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

PART IV:
MY MIND'S ALWAYS SPINNING AROUND

CHAPTER 4: "I TURNED AROUND SEEING BERT."

Gerard's pov:

Frank ♥︎: I understand why now

Me: I'll go to your house after school

Frank ♥︎: okay

I sat in Bert's room. Nobody lives here anymore. His mom kind of just fled so everything that was Bert's is still here. I haven't come here since the day he died.

Flashback:

I walked to Bert's house feeling like utter shit. Not only is my boyfriend dead but I'm also hung over. I had to hide his body. I'll have to bury him properly later when it's dark out. I grabbed the left over vodka and chugged it. I threw it near where him and I used to drink and smoke. I sat in his room looking at my torn up wrist. I looked around his room. It's weird not having him. Loneliness suddenly fell over me. I miss him. I don't think I'll go to school for awhile. Mikey called me. I ignored it, it's not like I'm going to speak. I don't feel like it anymore. Nothing really matters. I got another call from Mikey. I sighed and stared at a picture that Bert had of me and him. I answered it. "Where are you?" I stayed quiet. "Gerard, what happened?" "I can't find Bert..." "What do you mean?" "I don't know where he went... I can't find him. Frank doesn't know either... I think he's gone." "Gerard?" "Yeah." "Come home. So we can figure out what happened." I smiled wide appreciating him for caring about me.

I hung up and held Bert's jacket while I walked to my house. I need to sneak inside my house. My face is covered in blood and so is my wrist. I laughed a little realizing why Bert wore the jacket I was holding. Once I snuck into my room I made sure mom and Mikey weren't able to see me. I washed off the blood on my face, reminding me of Bert getting beat up all the time. I should kill Kyle. I smiled and walked out of the restroom and going back to my room. I went to bed.

End of flashback:

I walked out of his room looking at it for probably the last time I smiled wide. Knowing soon hopefully I'd see Bert again. "Gerard." I heard his voice come out of no where. What the fuck. I turned around and saw him. I laughed oh wow I'm crazy. This is just grief because I miss him and it's around the time he died. I might as well enjoy my time with this metaphorical Bert.
"Bert." I said and walked closer to him. "You look hot, I've always thought you looked your best with red hair." "Thanks. You're pretty but what happened to your arms?" I asked looking at his blood dripping arms. He laughed kind of freaking me out. "Want to touch them?" "What? No why would I want to?" "You were so gentle with my other arm. When you cut it, you barley made blood drip at all. Look at it." He said showing me his left arm and letting go of my hand. There was hardly any blood on his arm. The other one was a fucking massacre of dripping blood. I looked at his tattooed knuckles.

"How's Frank? I saw him the other day. I think I scared him." "He's fine. I was going to see him but your here and I feel strangely intrigued by my grief." He laughed again. "This isn't grief." "What do you mean?" "I'm real." "What?" "I'm real. I'm sort of like a ghost. Do you have any cigarettes?" He asked. "Wait I don't understand." He rolled his eyes. "Well I noticed you were fucking grieving so I decided to see you. Because well I missed you too. I kept thinking about you." "What the fuck are you talking about?" He sighed dramatically. I laughed. "Okay I'll stop asking questions." He punched my arm. I weirdly felt it.
"I'm going to follow you around now for the rest of your life." "Okay well I'm not going to be alive for much longer." "What do you mean, Gee?" "I made a pact with you, I've got to die too. But whenever I kill myself we're not going to visit Frank." "I'm surprised you just accept me being here. Also wouldn't you miss him?" "I missed you. So I don't really give a shit. Also I can wait unlike your impatient ass." He rolled his eyes again and laughed. "That's fucking stupid but whatever you want to do. Also you should visit Ray and Mikey. You know it's going to destroy Mikey, Ray, and Frank. Just visit them it won't hurt my feelings you know."

"Oh shit." "What?" "Have you seen your step- troll?" He laughed. "No, it's a decision to be a ghost/ hallucination that's real or to just die. It's hard to explain. I wonder what you'll do. If you die for real then I will too." "I'll have to wait for Mikey, Ray, Frank." "I knew you'd say that." He shook his head and laughed. "You've changed so much." "I have?" "Yeah, I know your in love with me but I could also sense you love Frank too. It's weird knowing I guess." He said with a suspicious look in his blue eyes. "I can't be here forever by the way. I'll have to go back eventually and then come back." "Okay come on I promised Frank I would see him." He chuckled. "Okay." He kissed me on the cheek.

~
Damn I'm almost done with this book. I wonder if you'll like the ending. Also just to clarify Bert is real he's kind of like Menma from Ahohana: The flower we saw that day. So like a ghost pretty much lol.
Love ya my wee clouds
- Sid <3