They sit like that for what feels like forever, Flug's bag crinkling against Demencia's mess of hair. He isn't sure what to do, his emotions feel scattered and he's never been very good at managing them, often storing them in the back of his mind.
"I'm sorry," a quiet sob escapes Demencia's lips before she's scratching at her arms, "I didn't mean-"
Her voice cracks before she could continue, although she tries anyways.
"I-I was just s-so, I can't-" She starts to hyperventilate, her words becoming scrambled in the messy and uneven breathes she takes. Her eyes won't separate from the ground, glued in place as she peels off the scratched off skin.
Flug feels helpless when he looks at her, he body curled into itself now and he can think about is how much it reminds him of himself and how much it hurts to see someone else have to deal with the bullshit he has to.
"I-it's okay, it really is." He tries which only makes her cries become choked. He opens his arms wide to appear welcoming. He knows how much a single touch made Demencia burst with light but he's not sure if this'll work.
She doesn't move, her hands on either side of her head. He can only look at her for so long before he feels tears dripping down his face, the feeling of curdling anxiety getting the better of him, he feels sick but refuses to move, choosing to gulp the sick bile down instead.
All that matters right now is Demencia.
"I'm--I'm, I can't believe-" Before she could spit anything else out Flug quickly slides closer to her, putting his arm out to cover her back his hand gripping lightly on her tensed shoulders.
"I know, I know." He doesn't know, he's never really loved anyone like that before, he's felt many things yet he's never had anyone he's look at that fondly. He's lost family, friends, even people he's hated but never in his life has he lost someone like that. Demencia's body feels unreal in his grasp, with the way her body jerks with each sob and how it feels forever solid with how her muscles tense.
"Why d-does he--he doesn't," She wails out, face digging into his should and her arms clasping themselves around his torso, her nails sinking into his back; he tries not to groan at the tight grip. She stays like that for a while, simply crying into his being while he sits rubbing her back, his head pounding with thoughts. He can't stop himself from like this was his fault, Blackhat's stunt weighing on him like never before. Maybe if he...?
No, leaving wouldn't help, if anything it would make it worse. He feels trapped in his own skin and all he wants to do is unzip it like it was one big meat onesie.
He hears a loud knock coming from the door, Demencia's sniffles begin to become quieter, as she listens along for another knock.
It doesn't come and after a moment they both hear heels clicking down the hall, the signature sound making Demencia wail before she pushes him off to run up to one of her less ripped up posters to claw it off, her hands attempting to band through the wall, she slides down when her tired limbs didn't make a dent in durable metal of the walls. Flug notes that he'll have to get new wallpaper as the metal was indeed showing now.
She sobs something that Flug can't hear properly, he watches for what feels like hours as she scrambles around her room grabbing things from the ground and within her drawers.
"What are you doing?" His voice is quiet as he sees her carelessly drop things on the span of her bed.
"Leaving," her voices is scratchy, low, and anything but her usually happy tone. "I can't live like this."
"But-"
"Shut up, I... I loved him and he..." She gulps before shaking her head, mascara still dripped down her face.
"It's been a few hours Demencia--you can't just leave, " she gives him a look, "please, I-I know you love him but this will pass. 505 and I will help you through this but we need you here, I need you here." He goes to grab his bag from his head, gently pulling it off before setting it down. Demencia's expression is anything but disgust and that's what eases his anxiety a little.
"Y-you," she looks away, unsure of how to take the sudden openness, "You and him can come with me." She settles on that, Flug's face, (face, Christ she didn't know how she felt putting Flug and face in the same sentence), mirrors her shock.
"He'd find us." Demencia frowns.
"I know," she swallows down the lump that's growing in her throat, feeling suffocated, "we could stay with Whitehat?"
"He has his people and you know why you wouldn't be able to." A comparison in her mind between the brothers was enough for her to know why she couldn't.
"I... I'd be fine." She lies through her teeth, the lie feeling like she got her teeth punch in. The look that Flug lends is enough to know that her lie wasn't enough to convince him.
"Lets stay here, just for now, I'll save up." It's a pitiful attempt, he knows. It would take him far too long as most of the things he orders come from his pocket.
"You don't want to stay?" She's still looking around her room, this time grabbing out change and a random wallet with a drivers license that belongs to someone he doesn't know. Probably from a target from her job as an assassin.
"I--Not without you or 505, I'd be all by myself and it would be boring." The joke doesn't land well as Demencia stares at him, the two items clutched in her fingers with something akin to a death grip.
"You'd have him." She's glaring, her nails breaking skin at the palm of her hands, he feels the wave jealousy flow from her. He knows she's still on a whirlwind from the sudden... It doesn't matter.
"He'd have me." He's looking down again his hair falling on his pale face, his eyes feel the affect from the bright lights in her room, he's used to his goggles tinting everything.
"You don't want that?" She's circling around the space, while looking at him; "don't want him to be with you like how I wanted to be with him," she chokes on her own words before continuing, " you don't want to kiss him?"
The thought makes Flug pause the feeling of Blackhat on him lingered, his cold body making a shiver run through him. He wouldn't mind kissing him he realizes.
"You do." She sounds betrayed, he looks up to find Demencia's eyes looking down and a forced smile on her face.
"I-"
A knock comes from the door again, this time much more timid and polite, the knock too crisp to be 505's large paws.
"Hello?"
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I UH TRIED I'M SORRY ALSO: any criticism? I'm desperately scavenging for improvement so like I would love some please-
Also thanks for sticking around, please enjoy!!
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Startling Secrets (Paperhat)
FanfictionDr.Flug has always hated the way he looked. Some have been nice enough to compliment his look when he didn't have his bag, but he thought they felt sympathy and nothing more. Looking at himself made him sick to his stomach with disgust. But Blackhat...
