I'm Not Even A Star- [Glittergolf]

Chapter 43 Sleepy chat

Moon woke up, startled, it was 2 am, they were on the couch, still on Monty's arms, heavily breathing has they calmed down.

That night again?  sorry ... It's fine, I know you can't do anything else... Can we go outside and smoke a bit of weed tho? Might help. If you say so...

The daycare attendant escaped from Monty's grasp, quietly moving outside, now standing on their backyard, before seating down and taking out of a thin can, a rolling paper and a filter. They spaced off has they made the joint then putting it on their mouth, lighting it up before taking a puff. They now laid down on the ground staring at the moon.

Moon: So... We're moving in whit our boyfriend?...

I guess so.

Moon: Fuck his brains out every night?

No!

Moon: Alright I should've expected this.... You're not going to actually you know, attempt suicide right? You're just having those thoughts but you're not actually wanting to go through whit it, are you?

...

Moon: Sun? Are you mad? You really want to end our lives?!

I'd never want to hurt you Moon... I just.... I feel like I can't move on. I'm stuck whit my trauma and nothing has helped....

Moon: Sun that's a lie, you've improved a lot, you're able to do things whit Monty now!

Yeah but that doesn't make me feel better. Having sex whit my boyfriend doesn't make everything better.... I haven't been hungry... I haven't been sleeping well... All I can think about is still that night... Am I even alive at this point?! What is this but a  purgatory? I even- never mind.

Moon: No say it. Say it right now.

I even got back into "self harming".

Moon: What do you mean? I haven't seen a scratch on us.

I haven't been eating Moon. I can't eat. I get so horribly nauseous and... I don't know just brought something from the best.

Moon: Let's stop taking the meds then. If it's doing this much harm and even tho it's been a lot of time for it to kick in, it hasn't so let's just stop. When you get nightmares or triggered just come outside and smoke some weed to chill out.

Are you sure that's a good idea?

Moon: It is if you don't attempt suicide. Could you promise me that?

I...

Moon: Sun, will you promise that?

Yes... I promise I won't attempt suicide.

Moon: Ok, good. Now let's get back inside, Monty's probably missing us.- they said before getting up and heading inside.

You say that has if I had control of the body. Force of habit.

The taller walked over to the couch, seeing sleepy Monty looking startled has they didn't find their partner.

Monty: Moon? Where are you?

Moon: I'm here my star... Just went out for a smoke.- they said has they sat down on the couch petting the other's arm to comfort him.

Monty: Holy fuck you reek... Wait why do you smell like weed?- he asked still half awake, the taller smiling at them.

Moon: Cuz I went outside to smoke some.

Monty: Why?

Moon: A nightmare... But don't worry I'm fine now... Let's go upstairs, sleep on your bed... What do you say? Get out of those spiky clothes?