n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach-lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended...
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Me and Allison hop in the car as Diego is taken away by the cops. We drive for a few minutes before it starts to rain. A little later it starts to pour down. I look over to see Allison stuck in her thoughts.
"Ya know, out of all of us..." I start, just talking to myself as Allison is stuck in her head. "I thought it'd be me who went to jail for murder. And it would have been for murdering one of you. Ya'll can be annoying sometimes."
I look over to see Allison crying. I shake her so that she stops pressing on the gas. 'I don't need to go back to Hell this soon. I'm still hiding from Lucifer.'
"Ally. Hey, Allison." I shake her as she looks over at me. "What happened? I lost you there for a second."
"I'm fine. Just...got lost in my head." says Allison, shaking herself out of her thoughts.
"You wanna talk about it?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation going so that we're not stuck in silence.
"I was just thinking of the last time I saw Claire." Allison sighs.
"I'm sorry about your daughter. I don't know what it's like to have a kid." I say, trying to relate to her. "Unless you count taking care of children souls while in Hell, than yes, I know what it's like to have kids."
"I did something bad to her." Allison states, not looking at me.
"You mean you rumored her." I state, knowing where this is going.
"Yeah. I mean, she was acting out..." explains Allison. "...and I know that that's what every kid is supposed to do at her age, but she wasn't going to sleep. And so I told myself just that once.."
"But it wasn't just once, was it?" I ask, already knowing her answer even after she nods her head. "I would do the same thing if I had kids. If I could have kids." I mumble the last part, hoping she didn't hear it.
"What happened to you? down there?" Allison asks.
"Everything and anything. No amount of torture stopped them from trying to kill me." I state, trying not to remember the horrors. "I wasn't welcome there. But I didn't have enough strength to get back, nor did I know how. So, I hid, and waited to get out. Do you know what it does to your psyche to spend hundreds of years in Hell, as you try to survive?"
"No. I don't." mutters Allison. "Wait...Hundreds? How old are you?"
"I stopped counting after I hit 150. I think what was more impressive was that I survived hundreds of years without being killed by the devil or by the other demons." I state, smiling at that thought.
Allison looks back at the road, knowing I don't want to continue our conversation. "What's going on with you and Five than?"
"What's going on with you and Luther?" I retort back, not wanting to answer.
"Touche." she mutters. "Humor me, will ya."
"Fine." I mumble. "Me and Five started something before we both left..."
