Just A Flicker Of Hope - L.S.

Chapter 7

Louis wakes up on the floor with a killer headache and immense back pain. He looks around searching for his phone but instead sees an empty bottle of vodka and internally groans. He told himself he would stop drinking on work days but ugh, whatever. It already happened, and he was going to call in any way. He feels like his insides have been ripped out of him.

As he struggles to get up, all the events of yesterday come pouring in like a tsunami. The cuddles, the flirting, the obvious fact that he liked Harry, and the kiss.

Oh god, the fucking kiss.

The kiss that Louis is pretty sure of ruined every chance he had with Harry. But he remembers the promise he made himself last night. He was going to let go. It would hurt less because then he couldn't get attached.

But Louis knew it was too late.

He was attached.

Louis fell in love with the boy who tells horrible jokes and speaks to plants.

Through tears, Louis searches for his phone and turns off airplane mode to see floods of messages from Harry, Lottie, and Zayn. He opens up the messages from Harry first but just as quickly as he opened them, regret sets in.

'Lou? Are you okay? Fuck, I want to turn back.'

'Lou. You're really scaring me. Why aren't you answering me?'

'Lou...I like you. A lot.'

Louis stares at the last message and drops to his knees, crying with every possible fiber in his body. Harry just admitted what Louis wanted to hear.

But no, Louis can't do this.

He wasn't ready for the pain. Wasn't ready for the heartbreak. Wasn't ready to love. He was too broken to love. He was too needy and too clingy and, and, and he couldn't put Harry through any of that.

Harry deserved the world. He deserved every planet brought to him on a silver platter. But the thing is, Louis would do it. He would do it all for him. He would do anything for the boy with curly hair. Louis would love Harry until they were old and wrinkly.

But he couldn't do it.

He didn't deserve love. He couldn't handle the pain when it all fell apart. He needed to walk away. But nobody told Louis the pain of walking away was harder than the heartbreak.

With shaky hands and virtually no clear vision, he somehow manages to call the one person he needs.

Zayn.

"Lou?"

Louis can't stop crying but he knew he got through to Zayn.

"I'll be right there. I'm coming."

Louis's brain is fuzzy and he knows he's having a panic attack. None of his senses seem to be working right now and he's face down on his couch, letting out blood-curling screams.

He doesn't even hear Zayn arrive until he feels a hand rubbing his back and someone cooing in his ear.

After what feels like ages, Louis finally pries his face off the couch and sees Zayn's soft brown eyes staring at him. And Louis feels at peace. He feels like he can tell those eyes anything. So he does just that.

"I love him Zayn. I fell in love with him."

"I know, I know.  And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But I'm here now. You're going to be okay, I promise."

Louis knows it's an empty promise but that didn't matter right now.

So Louis cuddles Zayn letting more tears fall ignoring his phone ringing just a couple of feet away.