Upside Down, Around, & Absolutely Absurd | TXT FF ✅

0.14: Not In Control ?

BEOMGYU POV

I was finally headed home after a few days. Luckily the institute didn't have strict rules about leaving campus. I met up with my father since my mother was most likely assumed to be teaching her classes. "Is this a new look, Beomgyu ah ? Why the sudden change ?"

I never intended for it sound defensive, but I was taking Jeongsan' advice. He did say that we'd be changing since we were all pushed into the Lake Of Mist. "새로운 모습이에요. 어떻게 생각해요, 아빠?" (It is a new look. What do you think, Dad ?)

I could tell that he was confused. This look was a massive change. Especially since it had only been a few days since I officially entered the institute. "It is very...different. I am not sure if I like it." This is when I noticed my father kept avoiding eye contact. Why was he doing that ?

"Why are you avoiding my eyes, Dad ? Just say what is on your mind." My dad deeply inhaled before exhaling. His eyes slowly made contact with mine. "당신이 자제력을 잃을까봐 걱정이에요. 범규아, 며칠 안 됐어요. 당신은 왜 그렇게 많이 변했나요?" (I am just worried you've lost control. It has only been a few days, Beomgyu ah. Why have you changed so much ?) Truth was I had no real answer for him. If I told him the truth, what would he do ? I can't afford him removing me from the institute when I have only attended a few days. 

I felt as if my skin was on fire. I was angry, no doubt. I wasn't expecting him to say that. I know I asked him to be honest, but I am almost regretful he didn't just lie to me. "This is about the legacy, isn't it ? Does how I feel not matter anymore ?"

My father' face contorted in pure shock. I have never spoken this way. However, in this moment I didn't care one bit. I just wanted to not feel slighted by him. Like I was free to make my own decisions without feeling judged. To be treated as an individual. A burst of energy erupted from my body. 

This burst managed to make the air around us feel stagnant. Almost as if time had stopped, & made everything suddenly feel like an inferno had come between us. "That is what you think I am worried about, Beomgyu ah ? I could care less about the legacy for the family. You aren't in control, are you ?"

I scoffed. This honestly was the last thing I wished to talk about. "통제 불능이라고요? 전 괜찮아요. 제 걱정은 그만하세요." (Not in control ? I am fine. Stop worrying about me.)  This wasn't like me at all. However, he had no idea of what happened a few days ago. I don't plan on telling him either.

The warning about the Lake Of Mist was a valid warning. It does change a person. "Apologize now, Beomgyu ah. You're being rude to your father," my mother said as soon as she arrived. "No, Mom. I will not apologize..."