Warnings :
Mentions of suicide
Depression
Self harm
Bullying
Reader discretion advised .
( if you ever feel like this . Please talk to someone and don't forget you are loved . I am here for you . I love u ! )
Enjoy ////////////////////////////////
Your pov :
I'm awake . Again . Why the fuck am I still alive and for what even am I alive . Literally. People are on this earth for let's say 100 years only to work for school in their youth in their adulthood to make money have some good memories maybe , work and maybe reproduce and then ? Die .
So what am I living for . I'm a stupid fucking hufflepuff .
Yesterday I tried to commit but it didn't work . Stupid fucking pills .
"Y/n class is starting in 10 you haven't went to the great hall to eat yet and you haven't showered ... when even was the last time you did "? My dorm mate .
"Wha- oh yeah I did yesterday " I laughed softly before moving my ass to freshen up a bit .
After I brushed my teeth washed my face and put on some clothing I went downstairs. Looking at my feet while walking I was in my thoughts .
Why am I not good enough . Why do I feel like I need to please everyone. Why do I feel so fucked up when I shouldn't others have it so much worse . I'm such a spoiled bitch for thinking I need help
More then others .
And with that thought I bumped into a wall . Or rather person . They shoved me away from them .
"What the fuck . Ew . Now I need to drain myself in alcohol and sanitiser before I can go to class . Stupid fucking mud blood . " Pansy . It was fucking pansy . My day couldn't start better now could it .
Looking down at my feet again I mumbled a quick sorry .
"Not so fast you dumb bitch oh merlin not so fast . Was she bothering you pansy " I heard Blaise . No not fucking Blaise . Blaise and pansy are dating since a year and he shoved me down the stairs multiple times several of them ending up with me at the hospital wing injured .
"Im sorry " I whispered looking at them as they smirked . I never wanted to be a dumb helpless princess . I wanted to scare them off as they did to me . I wanted to be so fucking strong . But my power isn't there I don't have energy left .
Blaise grabbed my shoulders pushing me to my feet as pansy gripped her wand tightly muttering crucio .
It hurt so much merlin It hurt . I cried . I cried so much until I could hear them laughing and me crying pathetically on the floor .
I looked up trying to fight my body from giving up .
Please I cannot give up please .
The last thing I saw was the floor crashing into me . No it was just my body falling into it from exhaustion and pain .
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I woke up alone .
Madame Pomfrey came over to me "Oh dearie . How are you feeling . We did some checkups and it seems really bad . Can you tell me what happened please . "
"Thanks for helping . I don't know what happened sorry miss . I wanna go " I mumbled . I did not want to say what they did it's just enough and embarrassing for myself .
"Oh . I cannot let you leave sweetheart. I'm sorry . I'll go now if you need me please do tell okay " she nodded at me before walking off .
The lights were all shut off and I was laying alone in this bed .
Nothing to hear no one to say anything.
My breathing was everywhere in the room echoing through its halls .
Looking in front of me the whole time . Until I felt nothing .
I felt like looking into the ocean seeing one small lonely boas alone far far away from all the others at the coast .
Standing up gripping the railing on my bed I yelped out in pain . I walked down the hall sitting down in some bathroom I found .
I gripped a knife I'd stolen on my way from the kitchen and held it onto my stomach before slowly -
I heard someone opening the door .
They sat down on the floor next to me .
Crying .
"Hey are you okay " I asked softly whilst myself crying .
"No " they mumbled . I nodded even though they couldn't see me .
"Why are you still awake " I asked .
"Couldn't sleep " they answered "you "
"Same " i answered laughing ironically tge knife still in my hand that was now trembling .
We started taking that day .
We met there every night . We went there without knowing who sat at the next stall .
It was out precious little secret .
Until one day .
I walked in there only to find a piece of paper laying on my side of toilet .
It said
" I think it's time you meet the person that has fallen for you most ardently so .
Meet me at the Astronomy tower love <3
Yours sincerely
-anonymous man from the stall next to you . "
I smiled . He was my rescue . He was my hero . He was my saviour. He was my love my passion my will for life . He is my soulmate .
"Draco "? I asked upon arriving . "You're the guy "?
"And you're my love " he asked in bewilderment.
"My love " he mumbled before walking up to me looking deep into my eyes "may I " he motioned towards my lips .
" you may " I answered whilst smiling into the kiss with the sunlight being an paid actor falling into our background kissing us too with its shine .
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Hope u liked itttt <3
- A
