Fan art found on Pinterest . There it said it's from flyora.art on instagram . So yea .
Warnings :
depressing
Sad
Smoking
Panic attacks get called out
////////////////enjoy
Y/n s pov :
I was casually sitting at the Black lake after my last class at Friday . It's gotten quite the habit to me to just smoke a bit to calm down . I know it's not good but I just can't get off the cigarettes anymore. I started at a party some months ago but now it's gotten to the point where I'd just be smoking without any fatal reason for it . I just don't know . It makes me feel good . The blow flowing through me . I know it's not good and pansy is the only one who knows because of her finding out .
Draco , my boyfriend doesn't know and I'm glad he does not . He used to hate seeing me even drink alcohol at parties or some . He's caring about me and my health thoroughly. I love him . He cares . I love that he cares . But I just can't get myself into letting him know .
But me smiling cost me a lot . My lungs are feeling heavier whenever I'm running which I used to do a lot before . Or me having to cough a lot and not getting air then . I'm used ti have panic attacks but now with the smoking it feels even worse . I just can't do anything about it . It's an addiction no one knows of , no one to help me . Not even myself . So sitting now here at the lake whilst dray thinks I'm taking a run around it , I'm smoking looking at the Sky . Thinking about life . Or rather overthinking whilst enjoying the cool nighty air and the stars over me with the water bringing them down to my feet by mirroring them .
I softly leave myself to lay down . The cigarette in my mouth .
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Dracos pov :
"Hey Draco " I hear someone say behind me whilst running up to me causing me to look back at them .
"Hey pansy " I nod at her whilst continuing my walk as she walks with me .
"Draco I need to talk to you . It's urgent . Please " she looks at me giving me a stern look that I wouldn't care for if it wasn't for her being y/n friend .
"What "
"Not here . In the common room with Blaise and daph " she says looking at her feet not looking into my eyes as I nod again "okay . But believe me if it's not important I'll push you off the stairs as soon as I get the chance to . " I mumble as I continue my silent walk with her .
Upon arriving at the common room she rushes to sit down on a sofa near the window . Already sitting there I catch Blaise and Daphne whom look worried .
"What's up then " I ask settling next tk Blaise .
"Mate . I know you won't like hearing this but I'm worried about y/n "
With that I go on full alert . What . What happened oh my merlin . My mind is running laps and I feel my hands trembling on the potions book I held in it .
"What . What happened - " I ask worriedly . Please merlin tell me she's alright .
"Calm down first ." I hear daphne say looking at me as I stand up.
"Tell me now . Or I'll swear to merlin I'll hex you " I jump at them .
"Y/n has an addiction Draco " pansy says .
I feel mad so so mad . At myself for not noticing . At her for keeping it from me . At everything now .
"What kind of addiction " I ask not looking at them anymore my hand on my forehead .
"She smokes . Every Friday Draco . And probably even more . She has gotten health issues from it already . She -Draco she needs help . I kept it from all of you until daphne and Blaise told me they've seen her do it too . We're the only ones but anyway . We wanted to tell you together . Not to snitch on our best friend but to keep her save . Draco she means as much to as as to you . And we are worried about her . We can't loose her Draco . And we didn't feel like lying to you about it either ."
I now at them . Before leaving . Not looking back or anything . Running into my room . Smashing my fist several times into the mirror breaking it before throwing the books against the wall . Kicking my nightstand till it falls apart . After my rage I sit down on my bed . Staring ahead of me . I don't know what she probably has to go through currently. I know that she's a hard shell of a person so it takes loads to hurt or break her even a bit . I'm now not mad but worried . I love her . I could loose everything but merlin . Not her . Not now not ever . I'm thinking about her constantly. So damn it . I'll find her .
Running towards the black lake where she used to run her laps I keep searching for her . Finding her laying in the grass staring ahead of her .
Smoking .
"Y/n . Love " I mumble sitting down next to her taking off my blazer placing it on her shoulders . She looks at the cigarette before looking down ashamed.
I grab into her chin smiling sadly at her .
"Do not ever . Feel the need to hide something like this from me okay . We'll talk however long you want . We could be still and not say anything . We could be mad at each other but let us never keep anything from each other . Not something like this okay . I cannot ever loose you y/n . You are my world . Without you here I'd be useless . I'd have no reason to stay . So tell me . What's your reason to take my reason for living away . "
A tear rolls down her cheek before she uses her wand to remove the cigarette jumping into my arms . She cries into my shoulder holding onto me as I just let her . Kissing her head . Telling her how much I love her until she calms down .
She looks at me for some moments before kissing my nose . Then my cheek . Then she lives towards my chest kissing where my heart is . Before leaning back onto me .
"Thank you . I'll promise I'll never do it again and I'll never keep secrets from you again Dray " she sobs softly her head now resting on my shoulder as I continue holding her whilst showering her with affection .
"I love you "
"I love you too. I just didn't feel you know . I didn't feel enough and I had some other things . The ones you already know about and smoking just kind of have me the feeling of exhaling all of it away . Of relief . But I think I won't need that anymore ." She looks into my eyes as I smile at her .
"I'll always be there . " I say as she lays back into me . "Ilk always be there " I whisper .
And that was a promise .
Just one of the many I have her and kept . She's my air . Without her I'm dying . And belobe me when I tell you it wasn't easy getting her to quit . She tried but was also stubborn at times . But hey that's what I am here for . And that's what I was there for . For her .
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I hope you liked it @Urfsvglader
