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*TW: anxiety attack!!*
Aurora's POV
Erica seemed quite invested in the story if I do say so myself. She asks too many questions though which delays actually reading the book.
I had gotten through a fair amount of pages before I felt something press up against my side. I see enough blonde hair to know that Erica is fast asleep on my shoulder.
This is wrong. So wrong.
What's happening to me?
I feel my throat closing up. My test tightening. My breathing becoming unsteady.
Oh god not now. Please not now.
Running my sweaty palms across my thighs, I attempt to even out my breaths.
Inhale. Exhale.
I have to leave. Go somewhere. Do something. Anything.
As best I can, I manoeuvre Erica ever so slightly until she's flat against my pillow and I exit the room.
Pacing the corridors, I check my phone and slid it back into my pyjamas pocket once I read the time.
23:04.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a head with curly black hair up in a loose bun looking rather confused in my direction.
"Aurora? Why are you wondering the school so late, thought you'd be in bed by now? I never suspected you of all people to have a rebellious phase," Yaz questions me.
I open my mouth to say anything at all.
Nothing comes out.
I can't speak, what is wrong with me?
She's noticed. She's noticed that I'm not okay. Fuck.
"Aurora, what's going on? Are you okay...oh..ohh, you're having a panic attack, shit uhm okay, sit down with your back against the wall and follow my breathing," she instructs me to do so.
I follow what she says and latch onto her dressing gown and pull her down with me.
"My heart's b-beating..really fast, I'm so scared."
"Hey..hey, just listen to me, it's nothing to be afraid of, it'll be alright, now I want you to name 5 things you can see."
"..You, some dorm..rooms, uhm- windows, a seating area and p-plant pots," I rasp out and shakily point to each item.
"Good!! 4 things you can touch. Remember, deep breaths."
"Your..dressing gown, the carpet, pyjama p-pants and...my fluffy socks," I try to laugh at the last statement but I struggle.
"You're doing really well Aurora, now 3 things you can hear."
"My b-breathing, your whispers and my heart..beats."
"2 things you can smell."
"Hair conditioner and Erica's..perfume," I referred to Yaz's wet hair that had clearly been washed due to the strong scent of coconut and I ignore my second comment.
She pulls a perplexed face at my last answer but continues despite that.
"Lastly, one thing you can taste."
"..Toothpaste."
"Brilliant Aurora!" she runs her hands through my hair and checks if I'm okay.
"Can I ask what triggered it, or do you not want to share? It's okay if you don't!!" she asks me, making sure she's not crossing any boundaries.
"I don't know, they always happen but it's never that bad. I can normally just... snap out of them? I guess."
"You shouldn't just be able to snap out of them, how long have they been happening for?"
"Probably since I was..7."
"You were 7 and you taught yourself how to just stop a panic attack? That's fucked up Aurora, no one should have to experience that."
"Thank you though, you didn't have to help, really." I mumble.
"I'm not leaving a friend to aimlessly wonder the corridors alone, bit stupid isn't it?"
I'm her friend?
I smile at her to notify her that I'm okay and drag myself up onto my feet.
"Are you alright to walk back alone or do you want me to escort you?" Yasmin says in a unusually posh accent.
"I'll be okay I think," I respond.
"Talk you tomorrow Aurora!! Remember, deep breaths!"
"Bye," I pull a hand up to wave her off and she skips down through the corridor.
Bizarre.
That shouldn't have happened. I cant let anyone see me like that again. I become too vulnerable. No one needs to see that side of me other than me.
I stumbled my way back to the dorm room, occasionally tripping on each step I took.
Deep breaths Aurora. Just like she said.
Gently trying to push the door open, I'm met with a jump scare.
That sounds really rude. So sorry.
Erica was on my bed cross-legged, glaring me down.
"Where on earth did you go?"
"Not that it's any of your business, but I went on a..stroll."
She scoffs and I hear her mutter "fucking weird" before she takes herself over onto her bed.
"Night Rory," she lets out with her face quite literally planted into the pillow.
"Night Erica."
I didn't sleep that night.
It felt as though I wouldn't be able to sleep ever again. —————————————————————— Note for today: 05.07.22 Panic/Anxiety attacks<<<
Yaz is my girl, I've already put dibs on her.
I try to include easter eggs when I'm writing which relate to parts of my life.
So Aurora's anxiety attack is something I, myself, have experienced, aswell as so many other people.
Anxiety attacks can be triggered by anything. In Aurora's case, it came on rather suddenly due to Erica being unintentionally affectionate. (Her head on her shoulder)
Reach out for help if you can. Don't sit in silence, people are willing to listen.
