I Don't Need New Friends

1. WTF, Sam?!?

"Alright, flyboy, let me get this straight...my best friend comes back from the dead after 5 years, immediately peaces out to keep fighting bad guys, and now he wants to visit, but only if he gets to bring his new murderbot sidekick?" Zoe Jacobs sighed sarcastically into the phone. She was frantically trying to clean her bungalow in preparation for her guest, now guests. If she didn't adore Sam Wilson, she'd kick his ass at the request.

"See, this is why we're friends!" Sam Wilson, the superhero formerly known as The Falcon, now the newly minted Captain America, laughed on his end. "The fact that you just called him my murderbot sidekick, another awesome and ridiculous nickname, that, frankly, I'm a little disappointed I didn't come up with first, just proved my point that this will be good for the bionic staring machine. It means you aren't afraid of him and can hang with us, right, old lady?"

"What the fuck, Sam?!? Did I call him a fluffy puppy?! No, I called him a fucking murderbot! In what universe does that indicate my comfort with this?!" Zoe huffed, trying not to let him win so easily. "Besides, don't you guys want to stay somewhere fancy? With a pool and room service and a bar to pick up superhero groupies?"

"Z, I've barely seen you since I've been back, and I'm headed to LA for work. I want to spend as much time with you as possible...letting the old rust bucket tag along would just make things easier. Come on, I know you're dying to meet the vibranium dinosaur! You guys can be old people pals! Seriously, he's clean, he's quiet, he's allegedly mildly good-looking in the right light according to questionable sources, he's good at opening cans...you'll barely notice him. Pleeeeeease?!?!?!" Sam begged, knowing she could never say no to him.

"Ugh, fine! But anything goes sideways, and I mean ANYTHING, it's on you, Samuel. I mean it!" She acquiesced. "Seriously, no photo ops, no explosions, and absolutely no groupies in my house! For either of you!"

"Thank you, Z..." he singsonged. "You love me and you know it!"

"Whatever, Sam. Don't make me regret this." Zoe sighed. "See you in a couple of days."

As she looked around her house, she laughed in frustration and wondered if the cranky old man would live up to the legend. She'd heard way too much about the broken super soldier over the years...

"Why are we staying with your old girlfriend again? I thought Pepper was okay with us staying in Malibu..." James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, former brainwashed assassin, honorary Wakandan, and curmudgeon with a heart of gold elbowed Sam as he downed his fourth whiskey of the flight. "...you trying to see if she likes the new suit better?" He smirked, loving to mess with his partner.

"For the last time, Terminator, she's not my girlfriend! And if you don't want to stay with us, you can find your own accommodations." Sam huffed. "I told you, she's one of my best friends, and I haven't seen her since Tony's memorial. Just because you lack people skills doesn't mean that I do." Realizing that came off a bit harsh, he backpedaled "Maybe Tinman will make a new friend!"

"Whatever you say, lover boy...and I don't need new friends." Bucky snarked. "Wait, she was at Tony's funeral? Why didn't I meet her?"

"Well, it was a pretty fucked up day. Honestly, I'm surprised you remember being there at all, what with your senility and everything..." Sam teased. "...but, she also kind of stayed in the background that day. She was sort of avoiding someone..."

"Who? You? And now we're headed to her house for a week? This just keeps getting better..." Bucky sighed.

"No, not me, you idiot." Sam rolled his eyes. "She, uh, kinda had a falling out with Steve during the Blip, and didn't want to make it weird. She was just trying to keep the peace."

"She knew Steve?" Bucky was now more puzzled about why he had never met her. "How long was she involved with the team?"

"I kinda pulled her into the drama when Steve and Nat were looking for your dumb ass in D.C. She worked at the VA, in the emergency room, and she'd dropped by my support group a few times, we just hit it off and had been friends for a couple of years already. When shit started to go sideways, and those two showed up at my door looking like they'd just crawled out of the sewer, I called Zoe to come give them a once over..." Sam sighed. "...Stark liked her and called her in a few times to help over the years when we needed extra medical help. And then when we were on the run after saving your sorry ass again, she'd already moved to California, and we stayed with her a few times. Her and Nat were really close. Steve for a while, too. After we all disappeared, Nat called her to come to the compound to help out, and she stayed for a few years...she won't tell me what happened to get on Steve's bad side, which to be honest, I didn't know was even possible, but she was crushed when Nat and Tony died. She just needed some closure like the rest of us, and didn't want to cause trouble."

"Must have been pretty big to get on Steve Rogers bad side..." Bucky conceded. "...you sure she's okay? People changed during the Blip, Sam. You sure she's still good with us?"

"She's the fucking best. And you're gonna be on your best behavior, understand?" Sam warned. "Do not embarrass me, man."

"Wouldn't dream of it..." Bucky laughed and signaled for another drink. They're staying with someone Steve didn't like? He liked everyone. What the hell was he getting himself into?