I Don't Need New Friends

34. Mutual Appreciation Society

As soon as she got back to her room, Zoe immediately ripped open her suitcase to find the note from Bucky. Unsurprisingly, it was sitting on top of everything, so it would be the first thing she saw when she opened the bag. She smiled when she saw his perfectly symmetrical old-school block lettering. Sitting down on the bed, she opened it up:

Hi Zoe,

How long after we left did you wait to read this? If we're being honest, I read yours as soon as I found it, before we even left the house...So, this is some way to start things, huh? Not exactly the "meet cute" everyone talks about these days. But it fits us, don't you think? We are total fucking weirdos aren't we? But I wouldn't change a thing so far (other than the part where I have to go raid a terrorist organization's secret base...that part I could definitely do without!). Meeting you and falling in love has made me think more seriously about retirement (or at least slowing down!) I'm getting too old for this shit, right?

When we get back, do you think it would be okay for me to stick around for a while? I know we talked about the immediate time after I get back, going on dates and doing normal things outside of lockdown, but I was wondering what your thoughts are about how this is going to work long-term? I know, I'm probably getting ahead of myself here. Don't freak out, okay? I was too nervous to say anything out loud, and I didn't want you to feel pressured by me sitting there staring at you menacingly while you thought about it (kidding!) I know it's really fast, so I could get my own place. It's not like I'm exactly attached to my apartment back east. I think I'm up to a bed, a couch, and a coffee table (shocking, I know!), most of my stuff is either with me or in storage, save for the extra go bags in Delacroix and DC. Okay, I'm rambling. These are the things I can figure out later.

In case I haven't made it clear, I am so (pleasantly) surprised by everything that's happened with us. You are truly the best thing that's come along in a very long time. I know you still carry some serious scars from other heartbreaks, but all I want is to make sure you know how much I love and appreciate you. Not the caretaker, not just the funny friend, definitely not a silent partner. You. Zoe, you have done something years of therapy and experimental treatments couldn't do. You've made me feel like a whole person again. And not just any person! You make me feel like a person who is worth more than just their worst mistakes, and even though I'm still figuring out who I am, that's okay, too. You make me feel good. And no matter what happens between us in the future (though I'm not-so-subtly hoping for more), I'm forever in your debt for that one. I love you Zoe. Just you.

Okay, enough sappy stuff. Behave yourself while I'm away. Cannot wait to see your face when I get back.

All my love,
James

p.s. Can we please do it in the Star Wars room?! If for nothing else than to be able to lord it over Sam! I love you! (I know... I Han Solo'd you again, get it?)

She fell asleep crying with the letter in her hand.

As soon as the jet was at altitude, he pulled her letter out of his chest pocket to reread. Sam was dozing off, so he didn't worry about getting teased for 'having emotions and shit.'

My Amazing Gorgeous Nerdy Dinosaur Hero,

Hopefully you found this before it completely disintegrated in the jungle humidity. How the hell do you deal with all the extreme climates you work in? My skin is itchy just thinking about it! Never mind the bugs! Anyway...

First, thank you for keeping me safe while you were here. I know, I know, it's your job, but let me fucking thank you, damn it! You made something potentially terrifying into something comforting (and that was before we got naked!) My guess is that the level of vulnerability you showed while we were together is not your usual, so let me also thank you for putting yourself out there, even when it sucked. You are so much more than anyone (including you!) gives you credit for and I am honored that you chose to show me. Not only are you "not him" (or the other guy, as you refer to one of your past selves), but you have such quiet strength and infinite potential. You are so much more than I ever could've hoped for. Yes, we moved at supersonic speed, but I'm so grateful that we did. I love you, James. Thank you for letting me in.

To be honest, I was (let's be real here, am) so nervous about getting involved with you. Not just because I'm terrified of getting my heart broken again. It's more because I completely understand (better than most, as you are well aware) that your work comes first. You have such important shit to do, I don't think I could live with myself if I ever held you back from what you need to do to feel like you've earned your place in the world. It doesn't matter how many times I tell you that you've done enough (more than enough!), it's something you have to figure out for yourself. I get that, I really really do. It's not my place to tell you what to do when you literally save the world. I also know you might never be done with the avenging life. It's who you are, and your loyalty is one of the things I love about you. Just know that whenever you do decide you've had enough, I'm here. And I cannot fucking wait to show you how much I adore you.

Now go kick some ass!
Love,
Zoe

p.s. I may or may not have ordered you a sizable Lego set for when you get home...nerd!

He was so fucking happy it scared him. If it meant he could jump out of this plane and get back to her sooner, he'd hand over his vibranium arm right now. He folded the letter up and placed it back in the left inner chest pocket of his bulletproof leather jacket, and with a lovesick grin on his face, closed his eyes and tried to get some rest.