I Don't Need New Friends

23. The Artist Formerly Known As The Winter Soldier

"Okay, so the picture quality isn't as great as newer editions, but this is also from before they messed with the originals and added all the extra garbage..." Zoe explained as she set up the movie. "...you okay over there?"

"Yeah, I was just looking at your bookshelf..." Bucky was distracted. "...I'm seeing a lot of horror, history, and rock biographies. Where's the science stuff?"

"There's a separate bookshelf downstairs for that. What are you looking for?" Zoe asked.

"Nothing in particular. You have a ton of books." He was making a mental list of things to read from her collection. "Mind if I borrow some while I'm here?"

"Help yourself. Anything in the house..." she smiled. "...even the Legos."

"Wow, did we just take our friendship to the next level?" Bucky smirked. "Who's telling Sam?"

"Ha! That's all you, I'm not getting involved in your sordid affairs!" Zoe laughed. "You can sit down, you know."

"Uh, yeah, I'll get there..." He didn't want to be presumptuous. "...which side is yours?"

"I'm the side with all the stuff, on the right..." Zoe chuckled, shaking her head. "...use your assassin sense."

"Right..." he tossed his pillows onto the left side of the bed. "...just checking."

"Sure you were..." she smirked. "...if this is not okay for you, just say so. It's okay. I don't want to overwhelm you. I'm a big girl, I won't be mad."

"It's not that..." he paused, wondering if he should tell her. "...it's just, well, you're the first person I've spent the night next to two nights in a row in a very long time..."

"Oh." She was suddenly extremely self-conscious. "Honestly, we can head down to the couch. It's fine, I just figured it would be more comfortable when we inevitably fall asleep, but maybe we should take this downstairs..."

"No!" He caught himself. "I mean, this is really nice. Admittedly a little unexpected, but I don't think I've slept so well in ages...I just don't want to take advantage of your caretaking nature..."

"Yeah, too late. I can't help myself. Literally in my DNA." She smiled. "You deserve to be taken care of, too, you know. Probably more than most. If anyone is taking advantage of anything, it's me taking advantage of having the world's deadliest assassin protecting me from god knows what." She smirked and elbowed him. "Besides, you're really fun to hang out with."

"Me? I thought I was the most boring person in the world." He teased. "Plus, I'm, like, 400 years old or something."

"Shut up and watch the movie, you fucking dinosaur." She giggled, curling up on her side of the bed.

They settled in and watched the movie. Zoe was asleep before Luke made it to Dagobah. After the movie ended, Bucky shut off the tv and sat awkwardly on his side of the bed, wondering if he should head back to his room. He was so comfortable with her, but being in her bed seemed extremely intimate. Not that anything was happening, but he was trying to follow Sam's advice and not be weird.

The longer he sat there, the drowsier he got. Eventually, he took one last look at his sleeping host, grinned like a fool, and rolled over.

Shortly before sunrise, Zoe awoke to the bed shaking. She thought it might be an earthquake, until she remembered she wasn't alone. She scooted closer and confirmed it was Bucky twitching, and also letting out the saddest cries she'd ever heard. Unsure of what to do, as he wasn't thrashing as violently as the previous night, she hung back and listened.

"No!" He yelped in pain. "No, please! Take me! Please don't hurt her!" He pleaded. "She had nothing to do with this!" Then he started sobbing in his sleep.

It broke her heart and was more than she could take. She pressed up against his broad back and wrapped her arms tightly around him, trying to apply enough pressure to comfort him without setting off a violent response.

"James, you're okay." She calmly reassured him. "You're safe. No one is going to hurt you or anyone else, okay? If you can hear me, try and take a deep breath."

She felt him trembling, his breathing erratic. She put a hand over his heart and continued to firmly squeeze him. "Listen to my voice, okay? You're in a safe place. Try and focus on your breathing."

"Zoe?" He sobbed harder as he woke up and realized what was happening. "Oh god, I'm so sorry..."

"You're okay, James." She softly pressed her face into his back and nuzzled between his shoulders. "Let it out. I've got you, okay? There's nothing to be sorry for."

"Did I hurt you?" He put his hand over hers on his sternum and tried to breathe. "I'm really sorry..."

"Stop apologizing. You didn't hurt me, you actually did really well until a few minutes ago." She reported. "Not sure when you fell asleep, but you made it almost through the night."

"Do you have a tissue?" He asked sheepishly. "I don't want to slobber all over you."

"Of course." She rolled over and plucked the box from her nightstand. "Anything you want to talk about?"

"Shit, I don't know..." He sat up and took the tissues. "I don't want to upset you more than you probably already are."

"Try me, tough guy." She nudged him with her shoulder. "You were asking someone not to hurt 'her', was it Nat?"

"No..." Bucky sighed heavily and looked at his lap. "...I was begging for them not to hurt you."

"Well that's fucking terrifying...But, I'm right here, not in any danger so far, and personally protected by Captain America and the artist formerly known as the Winter Soldier." She reminded him and, quite frankly, herself. "Other than all that time I spent at the tower or the compound, this is the safest I've ever been in my life, thanks to you guys."

"Yes, but you're only in this situation because of me." Bucky looked at her, trying not to cry again from guilt and fear. "If anything happened to you, I don't think I could live with myself...never mind Sam."

"Sergeant Barnes, permission to hug you again?" Zoe asked lightly, afraid to set him off.

"Permission granted." He couldn't smile just yet.

As she put her arms around him, he held onto her like she was a buoy in a storm and cried into her shoulder.

"Why are you so fucking nice to me?" He sobbed. "I don't deserve this from someone I put in danger."

"You deserve everything, James." She sighed and stroked his hair. "You just need to accept it."

"So do you..." he breathed.