As she was in the shower scrubbing the dust and grime off, Zoe was trying not to think about how much she was enjoying spending time with a certain uninvited houseguest and failing miserably. "Why am I standing here thinking about how nice the goddamn broken white boy is? Sam would literally kill me. He's another fucking super soldier...but he's surprisingly fun to hang out with. This is so stupid. He's a relic. He's the original fuck boy..." She groaned in frustration. "...but he's so goddamn hot sometimes...way to make it weird."
While she was getting dressed, she heard Bucky grumbling at Sam. "Stupid sexy super soldiers..." she muttered, pulling herself together and heading back downstairs.
"You two have another lovers quarrel?" Zoe chirped, heading to the door to pull the groceries in. "Who's the big spoon when you guys snuggle after make-up sex?"
"Very funny." Bucky smirked. "And Sam is more of a curl up on the chest kind of guy, obviously..."
"Nice!" Zoe laughed. "You know, you're actually pretty funny for a murderbot..."
"So you've mentioned, though I definitely prefer sexy grandpa to murderbot." Bucky retorted. Wait, did he just say that out loud?
"Noted." Zoe smirked, handing him some cereal boxes. "Can you put these up on top of the fridge for me?" She tried not to look when his shirt rode up exposed those insane cut lines on his hips. She had to physically turn away and check herself. Fucking hell, what is this? Cut the shit immediately! Sam would die! And take her with him...
As she turned back around with another bag of groceries, she slammed her face right into his chest. "Son of a bitch! Shit! Sorry!" She stepped back and rubbed her nose, which was now bleeding a little. "Is your whole body made of fucking vibranium?! Jesus, Barnes..."
"Oh shit! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to stand that close!" Bucky panicked. "Are you okay?"
"Fine, just didn't expect to run into a brick wall today..." She sighed, grabbing a paper towel and some ice. "...was that like when you hit a moose with your car? Your car is totaled, and the moose saunters off?"
"Am I the car or the moose?" Bucky tried to awkwardly joke. So not cool. Sam would fucking love this.
"Whatever you want, just take three steps back please." Zoe was trying to maneuver through her kitchen with him following her like a puppy. She wasn't so much annoyed at him, and didn't want him to feel bad, he couldn't help how unnaturally solid he was, but she felt a nasty headache coming on and wanted to get all the food away before it melted. She was definitely going to need a cold dark room and some meds quickly.
Bucky retreated to the living room, watching her carefully, worried that he had injured her more than she let on. Way to go, jackass, he mentally berated himself. Really fucking smooth. His 20-year-old self would kick his awkward ass if he could see him now. Fucking hell. Might as well give Sam a good laugh, he thought, while he texted his friend furiously.
JBB: Well, that's it for me, I might as well go hand myself over to those Argentinian kids...
Sam: What happened?!?!?!
Do you need backup?!?!
Are you okay?!
JBB: Just gave Zoe a bloody nose trying to help her put the groceries away. Kill me please. Put me out of my misery.
Sam: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo
(the extra o's are to show I care, man)
JBB: What do I do to fix this?!?!?!?
Sam: Try not to break anything else?
Don't make it worse?
Don't be weird(er)?
Offer to make dinner?
JBB: Perfect. You are a lifesaver.
Sam: Don't thank me yet, she
hasn't tried your cooking...
JBB: ...and there it is, ladies and gentlemen! Sam Wilson, motivational speaker...
Sam: Shut the hell up
and stop breaking
my best friend
JBB: K. Still hate you, though
Sam: Hate you more.
And remember,
DON'T BE WEIRD!
YOU ARE READING
I Don't Need New Friends
FanfictionSam Wilson has barely seen one of his best friends since returning from the Blip. He lets his new partner tag along out to the west coast, thinking it'll be good for the Bionic Staring Machine. Unfortunately, a relaxing vacation isn't in the cards...
