Russell Adler x Reader

Twenty-Six

"Do you think it's a good idea to let him go by himself?", you asked.

Adler tore his gaze from the window and turned it to you. He was calm, his shoulder were hanging low and the way he sat made clear he wasn't feeling threatened.

It was rare to see him this relaxed. At least for everyone who wasn't you.

After the war, after being by his side as he had married her, he had started to be so comfortable around you that he never felt threatened. He was always calm whenever your face was in sight.

You and some other team members were sitting in an electric store, right across an apartment of a man named Kraus. Apparently, he was the closest intel to Volkov that the CIA had.

Bell was supposed to steal something from said apartment by himself. But you couldn't help stop thinking about what a great opportunity this would have been to be alone. Just the two of you, undisturbed.

"You think he'll act up?", Adler asked.

You shook your head.

"I think it's foolish to let a Russian spy walk around all by himself."

"Are you doubting my abilities now, angel?"

A smirk found its way onto your lips. You glanced up to meet his eyes.

"Part of the brainwash didn't stick with him.", you teased Adler, knowing damn well that this was your fault and yours only because another part of Bell was in your hands.

He pulled a face.

"You're getting cockier with every year, angel.", he leaned forward to hide his face from other peoples view. "I like that."

Smiling, you sat up straight to meet his face. Barely a hand would have fit between you and his lips.

"I'm learning from the best, shades."

His warm breath stroked your cheeks. The delicate touch send shivers down your spine.

Why did you long for the taste of his lips again?

All those years without being touched by him, his existence buried in the back of your mind and yet you wished to feel it again. You longed for the way he used to treat you.

In that moment you wondered how things could have been if you would have said yes that day.

Swallowing hard, you got up.

"Where are you going?", his hand grabbed yours.

It wasn't a harsh grip. It never was. He always touched you in a friendly way, comforting and respectful towards your boundaries.

You could have slipped away if you had wanted to.

But did you?

He was still so gentle, so caring.

Your free hand found his to give it a gentle squeeze.

"I'd be calmer if Bell wouldn't go alone.", as you pushed his hand off a burning feeling was left behind. "I'll accompany him. With your approval, that is."

His hand kept floating in the air. Fingers moved as if they wanted to reach out again.

A deep breath made his chest shiver.

Then he nodded.

"I've never doubted any of your decisions.", Adler said. "And I never will."

A bitter smile appeared on your lips.

"At some point we all have to be responsible for our decisions.", you whispered.

"At some point I will be there to defend you."

Taking a sharp breath in, you bit your tongue.

It was foolish to ask anything further. It was foolish to think he would actually live up to hid words.

But you wanted to know what he'd respond.

"Even if it would go against everything you live for?", you finally asked.

For a moment, Adler though about it.

"You think too highly of me.", he finally said. "I might live for America. And I'd die for it too. But after the war I had to realise it wouldn't do the same for me. No matter what happens to me, it will live on. That doesn't change my love for the free world or the country. But you... Angel, if there is anything out there that I'd live for instead of America, it would be you."

It hurt.

Somehow, this was the worst possible answer he could have given you.

It was like your biggest nightmare come true.

God, how rotten you felt in that moment. As if you were not just the biggest but also the worst kind of liar on this planet.

And yet.

It made your heart beat faster. Every word he said, so rare and affectionate, made your heart beat with excitement.

All of a sudden, you leaned forward. Without permission, your hands grabbed his face.

"Russell...", you breathed so close to his face that you could feel his breath. "Even if there is nothing good for us out there... I'd never be able to do the worst to you. I'd..."

You stopped yourself and kissed him instead.

He tasted different than at war.

Now, he taste cleaner, like mint toothpaste and mouthwash. But there was still this familiar taste of ashes and smoke lingering on his tongue. And the whiskey was there too.

As you pulled back, he slightly moved with you. He didn't want to break the kiss.

Not yet.

But he let go anyways, because he had never forced you to do anything. And he also wouldn't force you to kiss him longer even though it was the most torturing desire that haunted him for ages now.

But before you could pull away entirely, his hands grabbed yours.

"Angel.", he breathed, both surprised and relived. "Think about my offer. Please."

Without saying another word, you pulled away.

His hands left a feeling like the touch of winter, so cold that it burned.

Again and again you tried to wipe them on your clothes but hid touch stuck with you.

Just like anything else you had ever gotten from Russell Adler, it stuck with you.

And you hated it. You hated and loved it equally.

With some strange mixture of anger and panic, you bursted through the door onto the rainy streets and jumped after Bell.

"Bell...", you whispered and tapped his shoulder three times. "Perseus awaits you. Serve the Union."