Jonnor, love is much more

29. Realization

Jude's Pov:

I woke up to knocking on the door. I looked around and saw everyone else was still asleep. I can't believe so much happened yesterday it's just unbelievable.

I open the door to see Kyle. He gives me a Hug and leads me to the porch swing.

"I heard what happened I'm sorry" He said.

At first I thought about how he would've known about Jesus, I then remembered his dad was a doctor.

"How are you taking it" He asked.

I shrugged not knowing what to say.

He smiled to himself then looked at me.

"you're doing it again" He said.

I gave him a questioning face not knowing what he meant by "It again".

"You're shutting people out not speaking just like when I first met you" He said.

I tried to think back to when I first met Kyle I guess I did somewhat do that.

"Ok umm... well I'll see you around then" he said giving me a hug and leaving.

I went back inside everyone was now awake and in the kitchen eating cereal. The house felt fuller except for the fact that Jesus seat was empty. After breakfast everyone had to leave, We said our good byes and everyone was off.

I went to my room and sat on my bed. I looked at the other side of the room that still had some of Jesus stuff and it hit me. Jesus Is Dead. I immediately started breaking down. I cried to myself mumbling memories of him and I. As much as I tried to stop the tears they kept on falling from my eyes. I lied my head on my pillow and got under the blanket and cried, and cried feeling the tears roll down my cheeks until eventually I fell asleep.

I woke up to the worst pain in my chest it felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest and was being crushed. I screamed and cried in to my pillow trying to muffle them. I then felt a hand on my back rubbing it.

"Shhhh....Shhh It's gonna be okay" the voice said.

I looked up and saw Lena I gave her a hug.

"No-o It's not Jesus is gone" I said finally, vocalizing that Jesus was in fact gone even if I said it through muffled cries.

"Jude.. Jude look at me" Lena said.

I looked at her.

"No Jesus is not gone he is still with us in our hearts and memories he lives on ok?" She says.

I node she rubs my back some more.

"Come on Connors down stairs worried sick about you" She says while helping me up.

Authors note: I hope you guys like it so far more will be coming soon please feel free to comment