The Darkness Of Healing // Ruel // English

Chapter 19

I reach for my phone on the nightstand when I see who's trying to reach me. My eyes could barely see clearly to read the name on my screen. Something was wrong and it has been predicted. Foretold in the dream.

Yasmine: "Hello? My sleepy voice doesn't let much sound resonate around the room.

There seems to be some kind of smog in my head. A big dross in the air that makes sure I have no idea where to walk. It scrapes the walls of my skull and makes me drowsy.

I've become so used to dreams like this that it doesn't wake me up anymore. I sleep through it and only wake up when my heart seems to be bursting out of my chest. Still it's scary, Ruel would never have told me to kill him in this way. Honestly, it scares me. It makes me more alert. It may be a dream, but I'm concerned about his situation.

The familiar voice of the doctor on the other end of the line apologizes for calling so late. There is a layer of guilt over his words but the way his voice speaks to me seriously, almost worryingly, makes me sit up in my bed and ask him what's going on.

He sounds tired. Exhausted. But he does ring alarm bells.

Doctor: "Ruel's heartbeat won't calm down after the last visit last night. This puts him in danger because his body is too weak to keep up with this rate for a long time. We request that you get here as soon as possible." He's got his voice under control so much that it makes me sick. Perhaps those are the words that arouse that feeling in me.

For a moment my body doesn't know how to move anymore. I can't let myself set foot on the ground, but also the words come in many times later.

Doctor: "Hey, are you okay?" The sentence becomes clearer and clearer and then I realize that he has been repeating this over and over.

Yasmine: "Wait what visit are we talking about?" Shoots out of my mouth.

I'm not on this earth, I don't know if that will happen in these few hours. Still, I'm getting more alert. I manage to wake myself up and everything comes in. Better than I could imagine. Somewhere, the cloak of defense falls again. Not to the man on the other end of the phone, but for Ruel.

Doctor: "The last visiting hour visit yesterday... I thought you knew about that." That last sentence sounded more like a question. A question to make sure it is, to gauge the situation. But I have no idea. I wouldn't know who came by.

One two Three. It takes three seconds to get my voice back. Until the giddiness in my head is gone. However, my ears are ringing. My muscles are getting weak even though they have to do their best to get me out of bed, to let me walk out the front door later.

Yasmine: "Do you have a name?"

I try my best not to sound too pushy, but I need to know. My gut feeling is screaming a name and I don't want to feel it. It hits me right in the heart and I want bandages to come instead of more ammunition at hand.

Doctor: "It was three men."

My heart sinks like a stone in the deep dark water. The mass is too heavy to keep spinning. The bubbles of oxygen it carries down aren't strong enough to pull it back up.

Spots dance before my eyes. Heat spews through my veins, pushing them open and giving it space. Space to flare up. Make me completely crazy. This shouldn't have happened, not at this distance. Not with this vulnerability.

Do not panic. Do not panic. Do not panic.

Too late.

I can't feel my hands anymore. I can't believe they bleed in places that were once closed wounds. It's anger. Deeply hidden fear that wants to see the daylight, they will see. It's racing through me. Makes me blind, paralyzes me in all I can do. My lungs get stuck somewhere on a setting that only gives one second to get oxygen. I think I'm starting to turn red.