The Darkness Of Healing // Ruel // English

Chapter 82

Annoyed, I turn over in bed and reach for my phone on the bedside table as messages keep coming in. I'm pretty sure Ruel's conversation is still muted, I still haven't replied to all those messages and didn't feel the need to at all. But it's not Ruel texting me awake. Messages from Liam are pouring in.

What happened to Ruel? He seemed even healthier when he first came out of that coma.

I don't want to know how quickly I shoot up, squint my eyes a few times to clear the sleep and go on social media to check out the videos posted after his show in Dublin which ended an hour ago.

Jeez.

He's a wreck.

Dark circles under his red, puffy eyes, cheeks shining from the tears that silently slip from his eyes. His happy dances disappeared. He lasted that hour and a half but actually stopped halfway through. With every note he sang I see a piece of him crumble until only the broken heart is visible.

I'm sorry dear.

It's twelve o'clock there, he must still be awake. I can't leave him on the other side of the world like this. He's not going to screw up his shows like that. I have to give him a hand to get himself back together.

Without opening his messages, I give him a call. When the phone rings, I lie back down in bed and rest my phone against my cheek. It didn't take him very long to pick up the phone.

Yasmine: "Ruel? Are you okay?" I ask my boyfriend when it remains quiet on his side.

I expected the exact opposite from him. I thought he would immediately pelt me ​​with excuses like what he does in his messages but he doesn't say anything at all.

Yasmine: "You know I can just forgive you right? That I will." I wasn't going to talk about myself and certainly not about my dad's funeral or a single thing about what I'm planning with Lucas, but he needed to know.

Ruel: "Did I hurt you a lot?"

Yasmine: "A bit," I admit.

But that's how I did too. I hurt him too.

Ruel: "I'm sorry about your father..."

Yasmine: "I don't want to talk about it," I quickly interrupt.

Ruel: "...and my timing and my outburst," Ruel continues.

But not about what he actually said. He doesn't regret that because what he said was true. I thought that. I could tell by the way his voice broke. The anger had just flown out of proportion, making things come out of his mouth that he didn't want to say.

I shouldn't blame him either if that's what he felt. I fucked up too. From moment one. I was too much for him. I have too many dark clouds around me and he is someone who enjoys the sun.

Yasmine: "Ruel, you didn't lose me so dry your tears. You can see me again in about two weeks." If everything takes as long as I think it's going to take.

I'd almost think the connection was broken a few times if I didn't keep hearing Ruel sniff his nose.

Yasmine: "And answer to Liam because he's worried about you," I add curtly.

Ruel: "Why do you sound so cold and mean?"

Yasmine: "Because I think I should be the one crying, not the other way around."

Ruel: "Yas that's not fair."

Yasmine: No? What you said wasn't fair either, because I've been constantly trying to protect you from the danger I was in. And you always think you know the big picture, but actually you have no idea. I just do what I think is right, so I'm sorry if I hurt you because of that. But I'm done with the conversation now, I need to go."