The Darkness Of Healing // Ruel // English

Chapter 46

For a while I looked at sound check. That was when the nerves receded and it made a little more room for looking forward to tonight. To see that entire large hall almost empty was strange. Just the idea that so many people will be here in a minute to come and see Ruel. I chatted with Michelle for a while while she occasionally took a photo, completely out of sight of Joël filming for the tour dairies that will be appearing on one of the social media platforms. It was about that today I had the freedom of whether or not I wanted to take pictures during the performance as it is the first show. And if I do want that I have to stop by with the possible questions. I stayed as long as I could until Kate called me to help her and Coco prepare dinner. After sound check it would be about six o'clock, it's still fairly early to eat but at seven there are meet and greets. It would be useful if we had eaten before then, at least for some of us.

With a full stomach, I walk past the line of fans who are now inside, waiting to meet Ruel. My face is fixed on the door I have to go through, the door that each of them is about to go through. I dare not deviate to look at the girls and some boys, afraid to reveal who and what I am. I wish Ruel and I had a little chat about what we're doing with our relationship to the outside world. Even if it was a short conversation, it would have helped me to know how to behave in such situations. In the end it won't be hidden, but if I don't put some protection around us now and pretend nothing's wrong then betrayal in the status between us. I don't know if I'll be ready if it ever gets announced. There was of course a rumor a while ago about the photos at the airport, which Ruel eventually denied. But I'm afraid all the hate will be thrown at me. People are very toxic and jealous in this area. While it is about someone being happy, but there is always objection. I think I have to start preparing for that because it can't always be held back. Not in a world like this. There is already more than enough whispering. I'll have to talk about it soon, I'm bad at making this look very normal. There's not one bit of emotion on my face, it's hidden in my eyes watching the people for a split second. There are about fifty. And all fifty scare me. So that I can feel the nails pressing into my palms before I can shake my fists loose.

Nate has already seen me approach and has put his hand on the door handle, ready to open the door for me right away. Like I work here, I have to pretend I work here.

The line seems to go on for so long that I took my phone out of my pocket to check the time, three more minutes. I've got three minutes to get out of sight again.

A sigh escapes my body as I am behind the door and thus enter the room where the meet and greet is held. Ruel comes walking towards me, not so much focused on me but on the door. I hook my finger around his trouser loop when he wants to pass me blindly, causing him to be pulled back slightly. Ruel's arm wraps around my waist as his eyes slowly fall on my face.

Yasmine: "Not so fast big boy."

Ruel raises his eyebrows, creating a slight wrinkle in his forehead.

With my hand around his jaw, I pull Ruel down to kiss his lips. The grip around my waist tightens as I lean back again and Ruel can't move away and kisses me again.

Yasmine: "Good luck. If you're looking for me I'll be right next door." I mention when I pull my finger away from the pants loop and Ruel let go of me. Ready to go. The room next door is a common room, you could call it a small living room. The door remains open for surveillance. I'll just sit out of sight and find someone who wants to play air hockey with me to pass the time.

Michelle has already taken her place behind the camera, taking the pictures of Ruel and his fans. She gives me a thumbs up as I walk past her and soon leave her alone with Ruel and Nate. She already feels like a new mom to this team. That is not meant to be insulting at all because she is very caring and calm and will try to arrange things if necessary. She's the one who keeps an eye on everyone and will be there for you.