𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚 || 𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐫 ✓

Chapter One

A/N: hiii welcome to chapter one! I'm sorry it's a tad short, but I plan on having several chapters. I would love feedback of any kind from you guys, it helps me keep writing. enjoy! <3

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December 2018

The bedroom was dead silent in the still of night, and all I could hear was the sound of my and Austin's breathing. I turned out the light in preparation to go to sleep, but I couldn't close my eyes. With his arms wrapped around me, I felt almost caught in a trap. I loved him so much, but I couldn't deal with him constantly belittling my career and life choices anymore. Over and over, I played in my head what I would say to him. It feels like I've been lying here pondering for hours on what to do. Should I break up with him or stay and try to get through the constant arguments? I wished my brain would just shut off so I could sleep, but one could only be so lucky.

"Stop thinkin' so hard," Austin mumbled into my neck.

I sighed. He knew me so well, which was one thing that hurt about all of this. He knew me as he knew himself, and in a way, no one else ever would. It hurt so badly, but I had to do it- I had to end it. I was tired of hearing him suggest roles and indirectly talked down to me about being an extra. He was a wonderful person, but no matter how hard I tried, he just wouldn't try to understand.

"I think we should break up," I said suddenly. The thought went through my head and out of my mouth.

The room remained silent, and all I heard was the clock ticking next to me. I no longer heard Austin breathing behind me.

"What?" he exhaled, moving to sit up in the bed.

I turned to look at him, still lying down, "I think we should break up," I repeated with my eyes cast down.

"Oh," Austin cleared his throat, "W-why?' he stuttered in disbelief.

"We want different things in our careers, and it's getting in the way of us," I said, tears springing to my eyes in realization.

This was happening. I was about to throw five years away, but for a solid reason. All we did was fight nowadays with few peaceful days in between. It was beginning to get exhausting, and I needed to do something about it.

"All we do is argue, Austin," I continued after a moment of silence on his end as tears still welled in my eyes.

I studied his face and searched his eyes for something- anything- but there was nothing. Slowly, Austin began to nod.

"You're right. But we can fix this," Austin leaned down to my face and took it in his hands, "I love you."

I squeezed my eyes shut, letting the tears finally fall, "I love you too. But I'm so tired. I'm so tired of arguing."

I put my hands on top of his that were still on my cheeks. Austin closed his eyes, "Five years, Roman. We have been together this long, and you want to end it now? Are you sure?"

"I don't want to end it. I need to end it. I don't want the same things as you, Austin. I'm so sorry," I was really starting to cry now. Tears were falling freely down my cheeks and onto Austin's hands.

He pressed his forehead to mine and sighed, "I just want to make you happy, doll. And if us taking some time apart is what will make you happy, then so be it."

I didn't want to say that this was more than just time apart, but I also didn't feel like arguing. Either Austin was in denial, or he didn't fully understand that this was permanent.