Empress of the Chessboard

Push and Pull

Trigger warning: mentions of sexual assault

I paced up and down the width of the extremely spacious room, the soft plush carpet under my feet doing very little to soothe my nerves.

My teeth captured my bottom lips and softly chewed on it while I fiddled with the hem of the soft forest green cashmere sweater that I had changed into. It was extremely ironic, I could stare Mafia Heads dead in the eye without blinking, put bullet through the throats of hardened enforcers without breaking a sweat, and yet here I was getting nervous about meeting an eighteen-year-old boy.

A knock on my door caused me to almost put a hole through my sweater before I walked down the hallway, taking deep breaths as my hand hesitated over the door handle. I could hear muffled voices, and recognised Porsche speaking to my guards who stood outside. It was amusing that I had guards, who were stationed to protect me, who had guards stationed to watch them.

A puff of air escaped my lips as I let out a breath... it was now or never I supposed. The door handle felt ice cold as I turned it.

Porsche stood, his hair still wet, a worried look on his face. His hand on the shoulder of my youngest brother. Where Porsche had strong and clear-cut lines, Chay was soft and gentle. His eyes were large and round, and I am sure that they would bring a smile to your face if you say them sparkle in wonder, but instead my heart ached to see a lifelessness behind them.

I had asked Porsche to speak to Chay alone at first, to explain his side... in the case Chay could not accept me, he still had a sibling he could turn to.

"So, you are my older sister and Hia's twin?"

There was curiosity mixed with distrust in his tone, fully understandable for someone who had just been kidnapped and had their world turned upside down. I had to remain calm and as open as possible, giving him the power to take control of this conversation.

"Yes—"

"Ma and Pa never said or left anything of yours, Hia also never mentioned anything."

A glare was sent Porsche's way who looked at the floor, guilt written all over his face, I wanted to steer the conversation away from him, but I did not have the answer to Chay's question.

"Ma and Pa kept it hidden, Chay. The pain must have been too much so they buried it all---"

"So, they lied to me as well."

I closed my eyes, this was going way worse than I thought.

"They just wanted to prote---"

I wanted to slap Porsche upside the head, that was the worse statement to tell Chay now.

"Why does everyone want to protect me? Does it look like it has done any good now?"

Porsche winced while I dug my nails into the skin of my palm. I wanted to redirect so badly, but Chay deserved to let out all the pent-up frustration.

"Chay all of this is new to us as well, I did not even know I had siblings till less than two months ago—"

"Then why did you not reach out to me? Why Porsche? I had a sister out there, a sister who is complete stranger to me... we share blood, but I do not even know a single things about you beside the fact that you are also tied to the Mafia---"

He let out a short laugh, it was bitter and dripped with resentment. I knew the answer to why we did not tell him, but it was an answer that had been told to him many times today.

"Have you killed before?'

My eyes widened at this question. I stared at Chay, his large round eyes staring at me imploringly. There was pleading in his tone, he wanted me to say no. I could, but he deserved the truth... it was better for him to hate me for it than to love me for a lie.