Save Me ♦︎

Chapter 27

I need to leave. I need to run. I need to hide. But my body wouldn't move. My eyes followed my parents as they came closer to the stage. Matthew must've realized because I felt him pick me up and start running. My mom started to tear up and so did I. I blew her a kiss as we all slipped backstage.

I sobbed lightly as Matt sat me down in the back of the van and we sped away. I saw my mom burst out of the back door with tears running down her face.

"I love you" I barely heard her screaming it. I couldn't hear over the pounding of the blood pumping through my veins and the whirlpool of depression overtaking my thoughts. Tears slipped from my eyes and I didn't care to wipe them away. I was a sad story told twice over and I was tired of it. Matt was trying to shake me out of this trance. no. This lifestyle. This way of depression. This me. I blocked him out. Pushed him away. That's all I was ever good for anyway. Might as well keep the streak going. God I need to be saved. Sometimes I tell myself that I can save me. That I don't need anyone. But I do. And I'm pathetic. And I hate myself for it.

I feel the tears flow harder than ever before down my makeup-streaked cheeks and I let them. My tears were stained with self-hatred and the lack of self worth and I knew I deserved the pain I was feeling.
Useless.
Worthless.
Nobody.
Ugly.
I was lost in my thoughts. Drowning in the whirlpool that was my mind. I needed help but the last thing I remember was the van screeching to a stop in front of the hotel and Matt dragging me up to our room. I struggled for air and gasped in exertion. Black spots started interfering with my vision, but I wasn't scared. I was happy. Happy that I'd get a break from this mess I've called a life. My eyelids grew heavy and shut as my mind went blank and the world around me froze.
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"Yo guys I think she's awake!" I heard a voice say. There was a lot of startling and moving. I felt a soft hand grab mine and I instantly knew it was Matthew.

"Hey baby girl" He said softly.
"Hey Matt" I replied my voice raspy. I slowly opened my eyes and tried to focus on what was going on. All of the guys were crowded around my bed smiling at me. Jack G and Cameron were tearing up, though I wasn't really sure why.

I was confused and lost. And the only thing keeping me here was a tall boy with soft hazel eyes and light brown hair. I was head over heels with Matthew Espinosa. I couldn't get enough of this kid. Maybe he can save me.