Love Fool | YoongixMalereader | ✔

| 13 |

The next day Yoongi leaves his home without saying goodbye, I wake up alone and the feeling of losing him because of my dream really breaks my heart, it hurts my heart and soul that he is angry over me wanting to follow my dream. I sit there for a few hours, with my legs tight to my upper body as I stare into what seems to be the void of my empty thoughts. Everything feels numb and yet so broken and hurtful. It feels like I am in pain but I can not figure out where it hurts, it just hurts too bad yet my skin feels numb when I touch it.

The phone rings, but I decide not to pick it up I am not in the mood for anyone to pull me out of the void of empty thoughts, but the sound of the phone ringing, again and again, pushes me out of the void. I stand up and walk over to the phone near the tall window, I pick it up and lift it up to my ear, but no words come out of my mouth "Son?" The sound of my father only makes me more unable to speak "Son?" He says again "Did it not go well?" Again no words come out, instead, I start to sob, the sobs are low and deep. "Oh no..." My whole body falls down onto the floor, the phone still to my ear as I hear my father sort of freaking out "Son. Son it is going to be okay..." But my body shuts down, it starts to shake and the ability to breathe disappears in a second. No thoughts in my head try to bring me back to a normal state, everything is blurry and painful. Every breath I take I feel my voice crack and my heart hurt "Son... I... I am picking you up" I try to resist, but I can not feel my body helping me to speak. Instead, my father talks about being there in a few hours, that I should pack my things and go for a small walk.

A little while goes by and I have stopped crying, my body is sort of back to normal. But my body is still shaking and numb. I stand up from the floor and slowly pack my things, I want to talk things out with Yoongi but it is clear to me that he does not wish to let me follow my dream education. That I can not love him and my dream at the same time... I love him but I also love my dream. If I do not follow my dream I break the dream I have had since I was a small kid. The fabric lit to my bag is closed and ready to leave this home. I look at the clock and see that around this time he would be home, but he is not.  I look at the bed and see my favourite book that Yoongi introduced me to, I let out a small chuckle and go over to pick it up and hold it in my hands. 

As I read through my most read pages I feel how my body starts to shake more and more, how a pain builds up in my throat, and I feel tears run down my cheeks. My hand tightens its grip on one of the pages, the page is now ruined just like my heart. Before it was flat and perfect, now it is ruined and holding the pain I feel. My tears hit the pages, I see how the tears sink into the page and spread. I hear the sound of a car coming closer to Yoongi's home, I stand up and walk out of the apartment, as I go downstairs I hear the first car stop but another car coming closer. I walk out of the front door and see Namjoon coming over to me with a worried face. He looks confused with why tears are running down my cheeks and a bag on my back "Hey... Are you okay? Where is Yoongi?" But my body steps away from him, and my head shakes from side to side "Sorry Namjoon, but I do not know where he is. If you see him please tell him that I love him and that I hope he can forgive me" I hand him a key and a piece of paper, I walk over to the other car and step inside next to my father. Without hearing Namjoon's words my father drives away from the apartments.

I hug the bag close to my body as I continue to cry. The sun is going down and soon the night sky is the only thing I see out of the window. My father stops the car and reaches for something at the back of the car, he brings out a blanket, my favourite blanket and a small pillow "Get some sleep, we are going to be driving for a little while" I bring it closer to me and nod without questioning his actions or words. He tugs me in and starts the car again. And soon my eyes start to feel heavier than before.

I fall asleep. I fall asleep away from Yoongi, in my father's car and not in Yoongi's arms... I feel so alone...