Love Fool | YoongixMalereader | ✔

| 17 |

I spend the rest of the night with Jimin and Hoseok, and throughout the night we talk about everything, it does not seem like they know about Yoongi and me. It turns out I am right.

"Where is Yoongi?" I look at Jimin sitting with Love on his lap scratching Love's ear. I feel as my throat starts to tighten and my hands are treating cold sweat, I rub them in my pants as I seem not to want to talk about it. I can feel them looking at me, but thoughts are running through my head as I get more and more sweaty in my palms. "Are you okay M/N?" Hoseok asks and pats my shoulder trying to catch my attention, but everything seems a bit blurry in my head, I look everywhere else but Hoseok and Jimin, my eyes are looking somewhere random in the room. My hands keep on rubbing on my pants "M/N?" Jimin asks but I do not respond, I hear something hitting the floor and feel something jump onto my lap, I know that it is Love who is sensing that I am not okay. No one says anything, instead, I just sit there scratching Love's ears to keep my mind away from the blurry part of my mind. "Sorry, it happens sometimes. I-", "You do not have to explain M/N, it seems like it is personal" I nod but continue "Right. But Yoongi and I are not together anymore" I look down to make eye contact with Love "Can we ask why? We are a bit shocked, to be honest, you were so happy" I nod again "We were, but... But he wanted me to stay with him, while I wanted to follow my dream. Sadly he does not think he is a part of my dream" 

I start to blabber about how he is a part of my dream, but I do not know anymore since he might not want me anymore. The words just start to come out, and the weight on my shoulders gets lighter the more I speak. Jimin and Hoseok say nothing, I believe that it is because of what I say. They saw one thing back then and now they see another thing. They saw two people who fell in love, now they see a person in front of them who seems so broken because of what the other person said. I do not know for how long I let my words run out of my mouth. No one has set a timer for it, but it feels good. I stop at some point, and a hand lands on my shoulder again, this time it is Jimin, he sits in front of me "We had no idea. We are sorry for Yoongi's words" I shake my head, they can not do anything about it, Yoongi has already said those words. "Have you talked to him since you broke up?" I shake my head again "I left without talking to him, I gave Namjoon a message since I ran into him, but I have not heard from him ever since that" Hoseok nods and walks over to the small kitchen to make a cup of tea. 

"Ever thought about calling him yourself?" Hoseok asks from the kitchen, I say nothing and Jimin's hand rubs my arm "You have to talk to him at some point" No, I do not. He chooses to break up not me. I wanted him, but he thought I did not. He has the option to call me, but no he has not yet called me. He got the letter, I hope. He chooses not to... My mind becomes blurry again, and I just let it happen. The sadness and rage inside of me make me want to cry and scream at the same time. I feel Jimin trying to get in contact with me, but my mind is blurry because of the rage and sadness that I can only feel but can not respond. 

Again, I sit there trying to pull myself out of the blurry mind. I do not even notice Hoseok leaving the room and talking to someone who I believe is Jimin since his hand is no longer on me. I look in front of me and see the cup of tea, I lift it and drink. I sit there as I look at my hands, when I look close I see the small red almost blue red veins being all over my hands, maybe because of the cold. I let my fingernail follow the small veins, I let out a small smile, I think about how my aunty would do this to me when I was a kid and had gotten into a fight with either my father or mother or just had a bad day. Even if I had had a fight with her, she would come into my room when I would sit in my blurry mind, softly holding my hand and doing that with her fingernail. "Feeling better?" Jimin asks me as Hoseok follows him from behind. I nod and stand up from the chair "Yeah, thank you for tonight but maybe I should go home" Jimin offers to follow me home since it is late. I thank him and I say goodbye to Hoseok.

On the walk home, we do not talk much, but it is a nice silence. Not awkward.

"M/N... If you ever want to talk about well anything, just stop by or call us, we can come over if it is needed. We are also your friends" Jimin pulls me into a hug and cares my hair when he pulls away "We are also there for you... I know that you need someone who will give you a hug, someone who will give you love as a friend. Hoseok and I can give you that, we also care about you..." I smile and pull back into the hug "Thank you" We let go and I walk up to my apartment. The door is of course locked but I do not open up the door, instead, I stand there with my hand on the handle, I look back at where Jimin stood a minute ago...

He is right, I do need someone to talk to... They are good people...