Stay or Go

Chapter 25

"So he asked you to take me home?" Nancy asks Jonathan as we all stand by his car at lunch, I take a drag of my cigarette as my friend answers "yeah. Yeah, he was upset. I mean, he was... he was really upset." Nancy looks away upset so Jonathan adds "but he was still worried about you." When she doesn't reply I let out the smoke and shift closer to her "hey." I say nudging her slightly "you need to cut yourself some slack ok? People say stupid things when they're wasted. Things they don't mean. I have. More times then I can count."

She looks over at me, tears threatening to spill "that's the thing." She says "what if I did mean it?" I ignore the excitement that leaps into my chest when she says that. "All this time, I've been trying so hard to pretend like everything's fine, but its not." She doesn't look at either of us although we stare intensely at her "I.. feel like there's this.... I don't know, like this..." She stutters.

Jonathan finishes it for her "like there's this weight you're carrying around with you. All the time." The two of them look at each other for a moment and I feel a little awkward. "I feel it too." He continues but then Nancy says "yeah, but it's different for you. Will came home." Jonathan nods gently "yeah. Yeah, he did. But he's not the same. I try to be there for him, you know, to help him, but... I don't know. I mean maybe... maybe things just can't go back to the way they were."

As they are talking I move to stamp on my used cigarette when I loose my balance and I hear a crack of my ankle "shit!" I curse and they both spin to face me, they both look concerned as they help me balance again. "Lori, are you alright?" Jonathan asks and I suck in a breath and grit my teeth before resetting my ankle. I straighten and flick my hair from my face "yeah." I answer before moving on "the point is Nance, that we all have our ghosts. They all come out eventually and when they do they are real bitches."

Nancy glances at my ankle and then back up at my face "what about your ghosts?" She asks "have they come out." I chuckle and clutch my bag tightly. I squint against the sun as I reply "that's why I am back here, to out run my ghosts."

-

I am getting ready for the movie with Billy, my record player blasting music. I sing along while I do my eyeliner, a broad smile on my face. I hear some commotion downstairs before my mum's voice calling up to me "Lorelei! Someone's on the phone for you." I all but leap out of my vanity chair and head down the stairs.

I reach the phone and hold it to my ear "hello?" I ask a little hesitant, a few seconds pass before a familiar voice sounds from the other side "hey gorgeous it's Billy." I sag in relief, even though I knew it wasn't going to be Richard, a deep part of my brain debated it. "Hey Billy, what's up?" I ask leaning against the wall casually "I can't make tonight." He says causing my smile to drop. "Why not?" I press and I hear his breathing get heavy on the other end of the phone and I kind of put two and two together "something came up." He answers.

Yeah, I bet it did. I sigh and try to keep the disappointment from my voice "see you in school Billy." I say. He is about to say something but I cut him off by placing the phone back where it belongs. I rub my face angrily and mum appears in the hallway "everything alright darling?" She asks sweetly.

I nod my head and reach for my leather jacket "yeah, I'm going for a ride." She disappears back into the living room and I head out to my car. Needing to let some of my disappointment out through racing.

-

I am racing through country lanes, weaving in and out of Hawkins sporadically, a wide smile on my face and crazy laughter filling the air. I make a sharp turn and loose control of my car for a moment. I curse and manage to regain control, however, when I get my car straightened I look ahead and see someone in the road. I am going too fast to slow down quick enough so I do the only thing I can do to escape a murder charge. I swerve off the road.