The Hamon Breather

Food For Thought

That evening after the completion of our training, I had some extra thinking to do. There are a lot of mysteries and questions I have in general, so I figured now is as good a time as any to pull back the fog behind some of them. Case in point, I decided to have a conversation with Shinobu of my own accord.

To be honest, she still frightens me a little. But I'm sure that was just her 'dealing with demons face' and how she talks to Giyuu. It still is very offputting that she could smile so sweetly while casually destroying that man's self-esteem... I should talk to him sometime. He looks like he needs it after being isolated for that trial.

I shake the rampant thoughts out of my mind and walk over to Shinobu's room. I knock on the door and it's opened soon enough. She seems surprised that it was me of all people. It makes me feel a twinge of guilt for borderline avoiding her.

"Keijo? What a surprise. I must say I was not expecting to see you at this time of day." Her expression quickly morphs back to her signature permanent smile.

"I suppose so..." I scratch my cheek a little embarrassed. She seems to have picked up on my nonverbal apology and quickly moves on.

"So, what brings you here today?" Asks Shinobu.

"Well... I was just wondering why you were so scary on Mount Natagumo... I left quite quickly, but you kind of bullied that spider demon." This sounded much better in my head...

"Hm? What do you mean? I don't see the problem with being 'scary' to a demon." Shinobu looks at me with genuine confusion. Am I being the weird one?

"Uh... well, it's just..." I struggle to find the right words to say, before settling on what is exactly on my mind. "It's unnecessarily mean?"

"But demons kill humans, no? They torment them and ruin many people's lives. It's only fair they get what's coming to them. Do you not hate demons, Keijo?" Shinobu questions. Her smile is the same, but she is definitely radiating something past anger. Malice: not towards me specifically, but it sure feels like it from this position.

'There is that hate again... it's so... vile? It makes my skin crawl. I feel like she wouldn't be afraid to do anything if it meant getting back at demon kind. Giving a simple answer won't work here.'

"The Great War occurred recently. I actually find it odd that they attached the word great to something so terrible." I begin suddenly, with the intent to catch Shinobu off guard.

"I don't see what that has to do with my question." Shinobu's anger dissipates into confusion.

"The last of my dad's blood relatives, his brother, died during the war. I was young at the time, so I don't know much about them. My dad actually started holding a remembrance day for him when the war ended. I remember on one of those days when I was talking with him about our relatives and the war, I'd asked him: 'Do you hate the men who killed your brother?' It was a bit of an off-handed question, but I was a kid so I suppose I got a pass. He spent a while with a distant look in his eye when I asked it." I take a short pause to catch up to myself.

"He told me that he was very angry behind all of the sorrow when he had heard his brother had died. He wanted to join the war right away to get vengeance. Fortunately, my mom had stopped him from doing anything rash. So, since he couldn't go gungho on getting revenge, he could only continue living and thinking about it. He told me, that after quite some time, he had realized his anger was misguided. He couldn't blame the other soldiers for killing his brother, because they were fighting for survival themselves. He realized that, rather than the one who pulled the trigger, he should focus his outrage on the person who put the soldiers there in the first place." I take a deep breath.

"I didn't understand then, but I understand now. The demons... they're pitiful. I think I would have hated the demons if Nezuko didn't exist. She brought in a reason for me to try and understand them beyond the killings. I won't forgive or pardon a demon for killing someone, but I'll at least try to not insult their painful existence. The only demon deserving of my hate so far is Muzan. So no, I may dislike demons, but I cannot bring myself to hate them." I finish explaining, with my hands clenched tight.

"Forgive me for going off on a tangent, but I did not think a simple answer would have sufficed," I add.

"You and Tanjiro are more similar than I'd have expected," Shinobu replies. I tilt my head inquisitively.

"I may not agree with you, Keijo Cujoh, but I hope you can maintain your outlook, even through everything." Shinobu closes her door and ends our conversation.

'Did Tanjiro also say something similar? Although, I think Shinobu's attitude towards me softened up quite a bit despite the cold reception. Sure enough, everyone has a story of their own... I should try to look past my first impression of people from now on. Maybe the reason for so much fighting and hatred is the lack of understanding out there...'

I stood in front of Shinobu's door in thought for some time before heading back to my room. I think I've somehow come to comprehend something important. Perhaps I could find my own type of kindness this way. It's not me to be kind for the sake of kindness, but perhaps I could be kind for the sake of understanding. I'm going off on a tangent again. I should get some sleep.

'Hate though... it seems quite scary. I haven't seen anywhere near how far it can push someone, but it's already gotten me anxious. That expression Shinobu had... it was almost repulsive. I don't know what she has gone through, but I almost hope I never understand why she feels that way. I may not have interacted with her much, but compared to the nice Shinobu I see tending to her duties... I almost felt like that wasn't her I was talking to.'

---

At last, I had gotten one peaceful night's rest. Of course, with training over, that'll be changing soon, so I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Hmm... what should I do with my time? I kind of feel antsy from the idea of just doing nothing. Oh! I know! Tanjiro should be free too, so hopefully, he's okay with putting teaching Inosuke and Zenitsu Total Concentration Constant on hold.

"Hey, Tanjiro." I start at breakfast.

"What's the matter?" Tanjiro asks a curious expression showing through his mouthful of rice.

"Do you want to go visit Urokodaki? It's been a while. Knowing him he's going to nag if we do... but I think he'll still be pleasantly surprised." I respond with a thoughtful expression.

"We do have some time before our next mission... but is it really okay for us to do that? It'd still take some time." I could tell Tanjiro was definitely considering it. He probably misses Urokodaki more than I do.

"I'm sure it'll be okay! Worst comes to worst we can just kill some demons on the way to or fro." I try to reassure him.

"Well... alright! I have been wanting to see him again!" Tanjiro beams.

"Then that's that! Go get packed. I'll make sure to grab some rations before we head out." I can already imagine Urokodaki's expression from behind that mask.

---

Taisho Secrets:

Keijo: "Do you still write in your journal, Tanjiro?"

Tanjiro: "Kind of! I try to write down the stuff we do in the daytime, since Nezuko can't participate."

Keijo: "So you don't write down about all of your demon slayings?"

Tanjiro: "I'd rather not. It feels kind of wrong to write about them. And I don't want anyone to worry about me when they read it!"

Keijo: "That's a shame. I think it'd be an interesting story to read, but I can see your point."

Tanjiro: "Why don't you write your own journal then?"

Keijo: "Eh? Me? I don't know... it feels kind of embarrassing. Plus, I've kind of missed quite a bit of writing. I'll just tell my kids about it! More of a reason to see this through to the end."

Tanjiro: "That's the spirit!"