Party Favor [H.S.]

forever and a day?

I don't mean to sound hysterical
But baby if you left, baby if you left
It'll be a historical disaster

...

Making my way onto the sidewalk, I immediately regretted leaving.

I felt like a hypocrite.

My mind went through different points of our argument together, and the words I had told Maia. Not wanting to argue with her any longer I left our conflict unresolved; Even after she pleaded that she would talk. I made the choice to walk out. At that moment, I thought that was the best choice. I felt like I couldn't be in the room. Leaving the house was a split decision, one that I should have thought about more. I should have taken a moment to calm down.

I thought it was best for me to take myself out of the equation before anything escalated. I didn't want to fight her. What I did want, is for her to take my side. I checked several times to make sure there was no sight of Brian before leaving. Just because I was upset didn't mean I stopped caring.

Looking up at the window where I knew Maia was hurt me. My mind flashed to me coming here on the first night, and how happy she looked. When I finally followed her voice and saw her peaking out of a window; I felt nothing more at that moment but love. It felt like a scene straight from a movie- a dream even. Even from where I stood I could see how she was blushing. Images of how her curls blowing out of her face due to the harsh winter air flashed through my mind as if it was infront of me. In my head, I could see how bright her smile was. She looked dazzling. Now looking at the window, there is no sighting of her peaking out.

There is no shrill of her voice ringing through my ears. Looking up there, I know that someone who I'm in love with is hurting. Even if I couldn't understand her point of view at the moment, that never meant I want her to be upset. Images of how I left Maia up there flashed through my mind. Harry, please. I'm begging you not to walk out right now. We can talk more. I'll listen okay, I'll listen. Pushing whatever emotion that was trying to come out of me down. I tore my eyes away from the window and walked down the sidewalk.

I had no destination. I knew that I just needed a second to calm down. I wouldn't let myself stray far in case she needed me. It was important for me to let my mind process things without seeing Maia's distressed state infront of me. Taking my phone out of my pocket. I checked to make sure there was enough percentage, and that it wasn't on silent before stuffing it back in my pocket.

I couldn't pinpoint which exact emotion I was feeling right now. Everything was a mess in my head. I was running off of adrenaline and anger that was slowly starting to morph into sadness.

My emotions were heightened because of the fight. I was angry at the fact that fucking bastard brought a gun to come confront her. Some who was so gentle, so fragile in my fucking eyes was put into harm's way today.

When I opened the door to see him standing there, I could still feel the first emotion that came to me. Disgust. He looked visually disgusting. He smelled disgusting. Even from where I stood I could smell the alcohol reeking off of him. Seeing him for the first time, I couldn't understand why Maia would ever even be with someone like this.

He didn't deserve her kindness, her love, or her light. He didn't deserve her. When he noticed that I wasn't the person that he wanted, his face dropped in shock. It was as if a switch had flipped off in his head and he went into a straight rage. One thing that I failed to mention to Maia, was the fact that he pointed the gun in my face.

A gun.

No one could ever properly tell you how to react when something like that happens. It was as if everything at that moment had slowed. He pointed it at me with a shaky hand. I had a feeling that he didn't know how to properly use it. He had no confidence in using it. That doesn't mean I didn't panic at the thought of something going wrong. At the time, I didn't know if he even had any bullets inside of it. I didn't let that stop me from immediately taking action. It was as if I had to shut off any fear that was rising inside of me and fight or flight mode kicked in.