fixing feelings - vance hopper

chapter 8

vance pov:
i honestly don't get why y/n likes me or at least pretends to. i know i have anger issues and i don't have confidence or at least i don't think i do. she means so much to me and she's so beautiful, i know i don't say it enough but i think she's perfect. i don't ever want to lose her ugh i've never felt this way about anyone ever before and i've been trying to think positive and not think about me ruining the "relationship" we have.
she deserves everything and i want to give her everything but i'm worried i'll ruin something between us and i cant go through something like that again.

"vance,vance hey." she looks at me and holds my face. "i like you for you. you don't try to change yourself for me and i know deep down that u need comfort and reassurance. you mean a lot to me vance"

i was struggling on words because i've never had anyone say anything like that to me but then i felt tears.
"what the hell" i whispered to myself and i wiped the water that fell down my face.
i haven't cried in a long  time and now i have.
"vance you're crying" she asks worryingly
"what n-no i'm not i'm fine i promise i don't cry. crying is for p-"
she cuts me off by putting her hands on my arms and pulls me towards her in a hug. usually i would pull away and i don't know what came over me but i wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her as i sat her on my lap then put my chin on her neck and sniffled. i felt her put her hand on my head and played with my hair which comforted me.

then she laid us down and i rested my hand on her chest and took a deep breath.
"y/n i don't wanna hurt you in any sort of way" i whisper out and i feel her take a deep breath "vance you wont hurt me i know you wouldn't" she says finger combing my hair.
"i-i know i just worry ugh i don't know what i would do without you y/n. " i say quietly.
"i wish you could see yourself the way i see you vance. because whenever i look at you i see a sweetheart and you're very handsome and i fell for you the second i saw you, and your smile is beautiful and i wish you would do it more because you deserve to have things to smile about" i feel myself tear up again and she holds me tighter.

i never thought i would get so emotional and i feel a little bit embarrassed because of it. she makes me feel so much better though and i cant imagine what i would be doing if i never allowed her to go to my house when she was missing her house key. who knew what missing your house key could lead to.

i feel my eyes get heavy and i fell asleep on her chest.

morning

i wake up in an empty bed and i look around the room confused. then get up slowly and open my door quietly and i see y/n at the table with her head in her hands. "y/n? are you okay?" i ask walking up to her and lifting her chin up. i see her eyes are red from crying "oh baby what oh my god whats wrong? did someone do something? who the fuck do i need to beat up"

she sniffles then looks up at me. "no one vance i just keep thinking about my mom and my dad. i wish my mom cared about me as much as she should. she blames me for my dad's death god damnit and even in my dreams." she says fast talking. "darling slow down its okay. i'm here." i say holding her as she stands up in front of me.
my hands are wrapped around her shoulders and she just sobs.

i can't imagine what she's going through. my dad isn't dead neither is my mom. they're just divorced and i barely see either of them but i do know that they still care about me.

i look around while she's still attached to me and i see a small container on the counter in the kitchen "are those cookies?" i ask softly
"yeah t-they are i know you had a rough night last night so i made you some a while ago"
she says into my chest. "aww darling you didn't have to" she lets go and walks over to the container and hands it to me and pulls out a cookie and puts it in my mouth. "mmm this is really good i'm gonna eat all of those in like five minutes" she giggles and goes to sit on the couch.

i sit next to her in the side of the couch and pull her onto my lap and grab a blue blanket that was hanging on the couch and lay it over her.
she takes a deep breath and lays back onto my chest as i reach for small remote that was hiding under the cushion.

i put a random show on and she falls asleep on my chest. after a while i move a piece of hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead softly.

your pov:

you had another bad dream.
your mom telling you that you're the reason why our family is broken and messed up and why your dad is dead. you need a distraction from that.
you wake up in a cold sweat and look under you and see vance and he looks adorable and you try not to get him up. you unlace his hands from around you and get up slowly and quietly. then open the door then go to the table and sit down on the wooden chair and cry.

you decide to get up and look around in the cupboards for something to make to get your mind off of everything.
while looking you spot a chocolate chip cookie mix and bring it out and make it. once you were finished you put it in a container to keep it all together and you want to give it to vance once he wake up because he seemed like he had a rough night and hopefully these would cheer him up, you thought.

you sit back in the chair and all of those thoughts flood back in and you put your head on your hands and cry for hours until you hear vance's door creak and footsteps leading towards you.
"y/n? are you okay?" he asks worryingly walking up to you and you feel a hands under your chin and lifting your head up to look at him. he looks into your now red eyes "oh baby what oh my god whats wrong? did someone do something? who the fuck do i need to beat up" he asks ready to pounce if someone actually did something.

you wipe some stray tears going down your cheeks "no one vance. i just keep thinking about my mom and my dad. i wish my mom cared about me as much as she should. she blames me for my dad's death god damnit and even in my dreams." you ramble on. you feel arms wrap around your shoulders and comforts you and holds you as you just sob into his chest and let out any emotions that need to come out.

after a few minutes i look up at him and he gives me a sad smile. he looks around and sees the container on the counter "are those cookies?"
he asks softly. "yeah t-they are i know you had a rough night last night so i made you some a while ago" you say sniffling.
"aww darling you didn't have to" you give a sad smile and walk over to the container and pull out a cookie and give it to him.
"mmm this is really good i'm gonna eat all of those in like five minutes" you giggle and go to sit on the couch.

you feel the couch dip next to you and vance sits next to you on the side of the couch and lift you up to pull you onto his lap and grab a blue blanket that was hanging on the couch and lay it over you.

you take a deep breath and lay back onto his chest as he reaches for small remote that was hiding under the cushion.

he puts on a random show on and you fall asleep on his chest. after a while you feel him move a piece of hair behind your ear and then kiss your forehead softly as you fall asleep.