Did You Get Enough Love

6. Shears to Your Heart

    Her arms snake around your waist.
"Hi doll". You jerk out of her hold not wanting her hands on you anymore. Billie raised an eyebrow. You took the roses out of the vase and the scissors from the drawer, before you started cutting each petal off one by one. "Sweetheart?" Billie's voice was filled with concern was she leaned over to see what you were doing.

    You gave no response. It wasn't long until the tears started forming giving away your toughness. "Are you alright? What's wrong?" You cut her off slamming the flowers and shears on the counter.

    "What's wrong!? Well I guess we can fucking start with that." You pointed to her phone. "How long Billie, Hm?" You stood there yelling at her with hot tears streaming down your face as she was frozen. "What?" She puzzled. "How long?" You repeated picking up the phone reading the messages between Billie and her Assistant aloud to her
—
You went up into the messages.
"Yesterday from her-
1:01am- "can't wait to see you again, I had fun ;)"
1:03am- "are you awake? I miss you."

"Well she's a little attention whore. Wouldn't you agree Billie?" Your voice made her feel small.

"Let's keeps going shall we?" You read off multiple texts between the two. They go on for months and the dates stop when Billie was out of town. You made the mistake of scrolling too far and caught a glimpse of the other woman's nudes she had sent to your wife.
—
You immediately slammed the phone on the counter pushing it away from you. "How long?" You said for the third time only quieter.

She looked at you, the color draining from her face, the question she was most likely avoiding. She stutters knowing she ruined things even more. She gave you a look like she didn't want to answer.

    "No I need to know! I wanna know how long I've been telling you I love you while you're out not giving two shits about me. I want to know how long I've been embarrassing myself, or how long this relationship has been one sided for where I was fooling myself over and over." Your anger boiled taking over.

    Her eyes watered. Billies gaze hit the floor. "You know what?" You bunched up the flowers once more. "Take your fucking roses and get out. I'm sure she'd love them" You threw them at her. Sobs left your body as you collapsed against the counter. Billie rushed over to you. "Don't you fucking touch me" scooting away from the blonde she stood there surprised at your response. Although she shouldn't be.

You backed up knocking the vase off the surface. "Y/N stop you're going to hurt yourself." Billie still tried to hold your arms down. "It won't hurt as bad as what you did." You pushed her off. "Y/N!"

    "Why'd you do it huh? Am I not good enough for you? Did you get bored?" Billie grabs you and holds you with your back to her front. "Stop" she said in a calmer voice. Your body was getting tired. The room was spinning and if you didn't sit down you knew you were going to faint. Sit down when you feel this way the doctor said.

You broke from Billies grip storming into the living room. Billie slowly trailed behind you walking in shame leaning against the doorway. Sitting on the couch you allowed the room to stop moving. Silence and tension filled the space. You got up and headed to your bedroom slamming the door behind you. Billie took this as a sign she'd be sleeping on the couch tonight.

—

The next morning was rainy. Dark clouds covered the blues and the sky cried for you. The house stayed silent. Only the sound of rain patters crashing on the roof. You didn't get much sleep last night. Most of the hours you were crying until exhaustion that you couldn't fight, fell upon you.

Billie could hear the sorrow coming from up the stairs all night. The older woman silently sobbed into the cushions realizing what she had done. Billie knew she had messed up, but she also knew you'd never forgive her.

You decided to face it and go down stairs. Unlocking the door, it creaked as it opened giving you away. Billie's head perked up from the couch. She looked exhausted, by no means was the couch as comfy as the bed. She watched as you went from the stairs straight to the kitchen not making any sort of eye contact.

She sunk back into the cushions waiting too see your next move. But you didn't make a move, instead you made tea. You read somewhere not to drink a lot of coffee while pregnant. Of course Billie didn't know anything so she found this a bit strange. "Even though, I'm not your biggest fan right now, I'm not gonna make you starve." You spoke with your back towards her.

Billie slowly walked over to the kitchen as you sat at the table scrolling through your phone. "Y/N, please." Her voice was like a child's; weak and small. Hyper aware of the insecurity in her tone. You didn't say anything or move a muscle. "I'm so sorry, please talk to me." Billie puts her hands on the counter. "Oh I bet you're sorry now huh?" You got up rinsing your cup out in the sink.

"Why don't you finish here and go pack your stuff." You stood in the entry way of the kitchen with your arms crossed and eyes to the floor. "Babydoll- " "don't call me that." You cut her off. Billie hung her head low heading up to the bedroom. You watched from the door as she packed a couple bags. "I knew the yellow ones weren't yours." You said as she packed her stuff from that drawer. "You may be an actress, but you are a terrible liar." You crossed your arms leaving the room.

Soon, Billie came down with her bags heading to the door. You walked her out as you stood on the porch. Smudged makeup and bedhead for the whole neighborhood to see. "You can get the rest some other time." You said plainly. Billie nodded placing her stuff in the backseat and getting into her car.

"Bye Y/N." She said through a River of tears which were about to explode from her eyes. She started her car and before you knew it she was out of the driveway and down the street. You didn't know where she was going, but that wasn't your problem.

Part of you hates her, the other part wants her back. That same part wants her to turn that car back around and run into your arms safe. Why did it have to be this way? What did you ever do to deserve this? You gave her all your love and she gave you hurt.

    You went back into the house away from the rain. Your phone buzzed a text:

"Do you have any coffee? I ran out :/"- Ally

You sad smiled at your phone with a light chuckle. What would you do without her?

"Come on over. :)"