Did You Get Enough Love

15. Let Go Babydoll

TW- Hallucinations ( ? )
•••

"Ms. Howard?" Your eyes shot up hearing Billies name, when really it was only yours...still.

"The director will see you now." A taller lady with a long medium dark hair wearing a pencil skirt and a black blouse. You'd been sitting in the funeral home with your legs crossed trying your best to look "business". Although the only business that anyone come here for is the ones their loves have left unfinished.

She took you to the back office where a man in a nice suit stood up from his chair, greeting you with a firm shake. "How are you today Miss?" He asks. You give a crooked smile and a shrug of your shoulders. "As good as it can be."

He returned a mimicked grin before sitting back down on his brown leather chair. It had gold plated rims on the legs and supports on the arms. His name tag read "Clark M."

"Now, what can I do you for?" Clark folds his hands in front of him on the woods of the table between you two. "Um. My wife died a few days ago and I wanted to set up the funeral arrangements." Why the fuck else would I be here. I didn't put on my nice clothes just to have a chat with a man I've never met.

    "Alright." Clark pulls out a blank file from one of the many drawers in the desk. "I will need her death certificate, date of birth, your marriage certificate..." The older man went on and on. The list seemed to keep going without an end in sight.

    Do I even know any of these things? You shared the same home, slept in the same bed, despite kissing different lips, you were still married for five years, yet it felt like you knew just as much about Billie, as the public did about her private life.

    "Yes, I brought all of that." You fumble around in your purse grabbing the envelope, sliding it towards him. The grey headed man places the collection of papers in the file and writing the name of your late wife on the tab.

    "And do you have a picture for the obituary? We also will need several for the slideshow." Clark's tone of voice was easy and gentle. It was obvious he had been in this business for a while.

    You close your eyes for a minor second. Now reality hit you. You were sitting here planning a service to put your wife in the ground..was real. This was happening. She's really dead. Instead of mourning and getting over it, you spent all this time angry at what she did to you. Selfish.

"Can I email them to you?" Clark nods his head sliding you card with the address.

•••

    You slammed the front door behind you. Ally pokes her head up from the coach watching as you stomp your way into the office. If she didn't know any better, she'd get up and surround you with questions. Instead she gave you a minute. Time to cool off.

    You set your purse down on the desk next to you. The faux leather roller chair made small movements as you sat. The computer monitor turned blue signaling that it was on. She's dead. You plug your phone into the cord that transfers pictures onto the desktop.  A tab popped up on screen.

'Allow device access to drive?'

Moving the cursor over the screen. Clicking allow.

    There was a file with all your pictures in a yellow icon. It took a double click to open and reveal all the digitalized memories you thought you had the guts to delete but refrained from.

    Pictures dating back to your wedding were still there. Flashbacks to those five Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries, flooded the screen. And soon tears would shock your corneas. You could see yourself sitting in the corner wanting to punch you in the face for feeling such pain for Billie.

    Ally knocks on the door before coming in. She asks no question, keeping to herself and only worried about the saddened expression on your face. The brunette stands behind the chair rubbing your shoulders and handing you tissues. With the business card of a nearby funeral home and the pictures on the screen, its pretty obvious to her what's got you down.

    "Is there anything you need me to do?" Ally whispers. You nod your head, "can you take care of the flowers. I don't care what kind just please.." Ally hums in agreement. "Of course" she kisses your head softly.

•••

Couple nights later...

"Sweetie?" A familiar voice rings through your ears. Humming in response, she comes closer into the dark room. The moon floods through the sheer curtains, being the only light visible. "Hi baby" you feel her warm touch on your shoulders leaving small kisses on them. "Ally.." you whisper in a breath rolling your head back. "Im tired." The woman nods her head. "I know. I know you're tired of all this." You feel a weight on your shoulder. She props her head up against you.

"I need you to know something." Her voice seemed to echo through the dark emptiness of the room. "I love you very much Y/N. I really do. And I know that you are angry but I need you to let go." Her breath ran cold against your skin

Your eyes felt heavy. Closing them slightly only made it irresistible to keep them that way. "I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye." The voice went on. "What?" Opening your eyes and sitting up in bed. The room was empty. Like a black hole had engulfed the bedroom and only the bed and you survived.

This made it hard to see the blurry figure in the corner of the obis. It was dressed in a baby blue cotton dress and long slightly curled hair. "Goodbye babydoll." It spoke.

—

You felt your body jolt up in bed, moving the blankets enough to awaken the woman beside you. "Y/N?" Ally sat up too. "What's wrong?" She could see your straggling breaths arising from your chest. Ally's arms took you into her embrace. Your hands gripped her forearms with such tightness, you'd have to apologize later.

"What happened?" Ally kept her voice at a low, keeping mind of the sleeping child not to far down the hallway. "She was right there-" you breath. Ally looks around confusion taking over her expression. "Who?" The brunette brushes stray hairs from your face. "Billie- she was right there I saw her" your hand points to the corners and all around the room.

"Oh sweetheart." Ally brings you closer to her. "Billies not here, I promise." Her arms surround your body in all the comforting ways imaginable. The kind of comfort that makes you forget about all the pain and suffering in this world. Yet all you can think is how much you wanted to haunt Billie with your presence anytime she looked at the other woman. Here she was haunting you. "It's okay to let go." Was the last thing you heard Ally say before you fell back asleep.

•••

A/N- I can understand if the end was confusing. Not much happened but things will stir next chapter;)