Did You Get Enough Love

8. Crimson and Sorrow

TW~ Miscarriage

Few Weeks Later...

    Ally has been a big help since you told her about the pregnancy, even though she claims she already knew. She brought you to and from your appointments, helped around the house. It was still very early on and you were fully capable of doing things, yet she kept telling you "I got it, just relax." Everything was going fine.

    If someone would have told you that just a few weeks later your world would turn upside down, you would have laughed in their face.

    You woke up this morning, birds were chirping their morning song on a branch on the other side of your window. The sunrise had taken over the room, beaming through the thin curtains. Leaving lines of light on the hardwood floor.

   You got up and made your morning tea like usual. Your stomach wasn't feeling the best, so you made some chamomile to hopefully ease the aches.

It was well into the morning and Ally would be here anytime to pick you up, you had an appointment today. The discomfort in your abdomen hadn't gone down, if anything it was getting worse and your head was feeling light.

Your gaze hit the floor seeing small spots of red splotching the kitchen titles. The more you looked the more you found. There was a pool of blood dripping from your legs.

Your vision blurred partially from the hot tears that stained your cheeks as you raced to the bathroom.

—

"Y/N, are you ready?" Ally called from downstairs. She walks in and doesn't see or hear you. "Y/N?" She calls out again. The brunette walks up the stairs and catches your sobs from the bathroom. She hurries to you, seeing your fragile frame a mess on the floor crying to yourself. You don't even notice she's there. You can't hear her calling your name.

Ally eventually wraps her arms around you. "Shh, it's okay. It's me, I'm right here." She condoles you. With your back to her chest she held you close. Your grip on her arms was strong. As if you were holding on for dear life. Except, you kind of were. Your wife cheats on you and at the same time you find out your pregnant, only to loose it a two months later. The woman who was holding you in her arms telling you everything was going to be alright, was the only person you had left at this point.

One you had sold all of your tears to the fabric of both of your clothes, Ally cleaned your numb body. "Come here." She took you under her arm and into the other bathroom where she set up a bath. You stood against the counter staring into nothingness.

"You don't have to, I'm fine." You were quiet and plain. Ally turns towards you as the tub fills up. "Y/N, please stop staying that. I can and I will help you and it's okay to be sad or angry right now." Ally watches as your eyes water up again. Your chin starts to quiver as she rubs your arm.

"It's my fault." You say in a barely audible voice. "No, no no." Ally brings you into her arms once more. "None of this is your fault. I mean that." Ally brings you out in front of her cupping your face gently with her palms. "Look at me." She tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "This will be okay one day, you'll get through this I promise." You nod to the woman's words.

Ally checks on the bath swishing her hand in the water. "It's ready when you are." Her hand grazes yours as she leaves the room. Your hands surround your stomach. You don't want to be in your body right now let alone be undressed in it.

—

After Ally left, she took it as her job to clean everything up. She started with the bathroom. She wiped the specks of blood on the floor up with an old towel. Then, she closed the toilet lid flushing it. Ally knew it would take too much out of you to do it yourself.

Tears even brink her eyes as she remembers a similar time. It was before she had Oz. Ally never told a soul about it after she flushed away what would have been her baby girl. She still regrets it to this day. She knows too much about how you feel and what you are going through right now.

After everything was cleaned she brought a warm towel and your robe to you. She knocked on the bathroom door. "Can I come in?" You let out a weak "yeah." Ally lays the things on the counter for when you need them. "Do you need anything?" She asks her hands folded in front of her. "Wine would be great."you say sinking further into the water staring into the distance again. "Are you sure? It's kinda early." You turn your head to her. "Doesn't matter now, does it?" You turn away.

    Ally nods and leaves to retrieve you a glass. While she pours the beverage a knock on the door disturbs her actions. Opening the door she's met with a blonde. "Ally?" The blonde stands confused. "Billie." Ally puts a hand on her hip. "Is
Y/N here?" Billie walks past Ally as if she's invisible. "Yes, but now is not the time."  Ally tries blocking the stairs so you can have your peace and not find out that your "wife" is downstairs.

    "I just need to get my things." Billie tries to move around the other woman. "Billie, I am serious. This is not a good time" Light footsteps at the top of the stairs case interrupt the brunette. "Ally? Who are you talking to-" you stand at the top with your robe wrapped around your body. And that's when your eyes met hers'. Both of them. Both pairs of brown orbs staring at you.

    You look at Billie with anger then to Ally in confusion. "Y/N, can I please get my stuff?" Billie asks trapped from where Ally is standing guarding the stairs. "Yeah." You say unsure if you had any other choice. Billie walks past Ally with a smug look on her face.

    You follow Billie into the bedroom. You rest your back on the doorway watching her rummage through her things. "I see you move on quick." Billie mumbles under her breath. "Excuse me?" You're voice is got loud for the first time in a while. "Come on, what is she to you?" Billie stops her packing to look you in the eye. "Someone who makes me feel more like a person and less of an object." You whisper scream at her so Ally doesn't hear. "An object? You think I treated you like an object?" Billie now aggressively shoves clothes into her bags. You nod your head with an attitude. Billie hated attitudes.

    "And to think I was starting to feel bad for you." You roll your eyes at her comments. "That's not what your letter said." Your voice now quieter. Billie looks at you in shock that you actually read it. You left the room and took one of the glasses of wine. from the kitchen counter. "Are you okay?" Ally asks cautiously. You take a large sip from the cup. "Oh I am just peachy." You scrunch your nose sarcastically.

      You hear Billie come back downstairs holding a small piece of fabric in her hand. She holds it up. "You didn't tell me you were pregnant." She was holding the onesie you were going to surprise her with. The one you had in a box under the bed. You quickly snatch it from her hand balling it up in your palm. "Yeah well-"

    "Okay Billie, well it was great to see you. Hope you got all your things. I think you should be on your way now." Ally shoved the blonde out the door. She noticed you were about to start up again. "Y/N-" Billie tried to refuse, but you had already turned away.

    Billie drove away back to wherever she was staying. You toyed with the baby clothing in your hand. Brushing your fingers over the material and the words "surprise" in black letters. "I already had a name picked out." You sad smile looking at Ally. Before she could console you, you were already making your way back to the kitchen throwing the onesie in the trash.

Aurora ~
spirits who remain in the sky, apart from their loved ones.

That night when the sun had decided to set, the sky was a mix of pinks oranges, the clouds had a purple lining. "She's beautiful." Ally held your shoulder as you watched the sky.

•••

A/N~ I wasn't going to post this so soon, but I need ideas for what should happen next.. leave suggestions please