Did You Get Enough Love

17. Pack Her Away

   I was blinded by the way you looked at me. The way you smiled after a kiss. How 'I love you' sounded when it rolled off your tongue.
I was so very blinded.

•••

    Her arms wrap tightly around your waist. You smile knowing she held you just as tight as she did the night before. You slowly peel her fingers off your hips, before sitting up in the bed.

    Ally immediately began to groan. Tossing her self to deeper into the sheets, soon uncomfortable since you were no longer in her hold.  "Shh, it's okay." You brush dark stray hairs from her face. "Go back to sleep." Kissing her forehead.

    "Where are you going?" Ally sat up with the blankets covering her bare chest, as she watched you get dressed. "Just over to the house. There's still some of her things I need to get sorted out into boxes."

    You pulled a sweatshirt over your head. Untucking your hair from underneath and slipped on some shoes. "I can come with you." Ally started out of bed, but you pushed her back down into the mattress. "No, you get some more sleep. You had a long night last night." You winked, placing a kiss on the woman's lips. Ally gave you a tired smirk sided with a lazy smile.

——

     Twisting the key in the front door, a whirl of cold met you front and center. You hadn't been in the house for several months. That erie feeling never dies.

   Natural light beaming from the windows allowed you to see the dust particles floating in the air. Brushing your fingers over the stairwell and soon they'd be glazed with a thick grayish brown coating. You ridded of it to your pants.

    Walking into the bedroom, her vanity lay resting in the same spot as you left it all those weeks ago. Silk pillow cases in her signature pink and shades of crème lay stiff on the bed. Matching sheets still underneath the top blankets. What I would do to lay with you just one more time. An innocent thought.

    A chill ran down your spine as you stand in the middle of the room. Silence interrupted by the sounds of the house noises that you only hear when you are wide awake in the middle of the night.

——   

    You gathered boxes from Billie's closet piling them into the middle of the room. Putting on a little music to rid your mind of being alone.

   And so you started..packing her away.
First with the clothes. Billie's blouses hung in the same place they'd been this whole time. All accounted for except the one she was laid to rest in.  Folding each one into the bottom of the box, filling it nearly to the top. Sealing it, you wrote shirts on the top.  You continued this with all of Billie's belongings, until.. you got to the pictures.

    Almost tattered photos of you and the late blonde in a couple small boxes and scrapbooks, were found underneath the bed. That was one thing about Billie Dean. She always liked to have a physical memory. She didn't care for having it on her phone or on a hard drive. She wanted to hold it, press it against her chest and close her eyes when she wanted to relive that day. You had walked in on her doing this a couple of times. Yet, she would deny all of it.

     Pictures of you two on your honeymoon, buying your first house together, or just something as simple as a kiss.

    A knock on the bedroom door brought you out of your head. Wiping small weeps of grief from your cheeks. "Hey" Ally's voice, quiet and gentle rang from the doorway. "What do you have there?" The brunette took a sit next to you on the floor. "Just some more of her that I have to get rid of." You put them back in the box not wanting Ally to see. Not that it was bad, but would you want your partner to see photos of you with your ex? Didn't think so.

    "What are you going to do with them?" Ally asked watching as you tape the box back up. "Well I figure we'll donate the clothes- throw away the bedsheets, because that's...no. And I'm not sure what to do with these. Is that something you just throw away or keep? Or is that too awkward."
   
    You stood up taking the picture frame of your wedding off the wall. "What do you want to do?" Ally sat with her hands in her lap. "I don't know. I mean she hurt me. A lot. But I still loved her."  You compared the frames in each of your hands. Ally stood up walking closer to you. Her hands made it to your shoulders. "But I love you. And I am here now." The brunette takes you into her arms fully surrounding you. "I am never going to hurt you like she did."

    A single tear rolled off your face. You put the frames into a box, sealing it quick. It was always Ally will never hurt you. Not like Billie did. Ally loves you. Billie never did...

    You shut your eyes tight. This felt like it was happening too fast. Ally went into to hug you, but you swatted her away. "Where were you that night?" You backed up from the older woman. Ally gives you a puzzled look. "What?" She raises an eyebrow. "Where was your little "business trip"? Because I find it so convenient that she was killed the same week you were gone. Hm Ally? Where were you?"

    At this point you were nearly yelling. Tears streaming down your reddened cheeks. Sniffles from your rosy nose.
"Y/N, hey listen to me." Ally takes a gentle hold of your arms keeping you still, telling you to breathe. "Is that what you think of me? You think I want you to go through this?"  Your eyes shut once more. Shaking your head back and forth. She could never.

     "No, no of course I don't. I don't know why I-" Your body fell weak. Falling into Ally's arms, she held you until you calmed down. "Shh, it's alright. You're overwhelmed right now. You're not thinking straight. It's okay."

    Your girlfriends hold was strong and comforting. Her voice soft like angels telling you to just breathe. "You're okay. I'm right here."

•••

    A/N~ after a whole month I'm back. Some sketchy shits gonna happen and will be coming to and end very soon!
-m